[Kiel]

KIEL TASKEL

Bonded Rutilus Dracovarian
MALE | 478 | MERCENARY | DARDANIAN | LEAGUE OF PROTECTORS

A P P E A R A N C E

Height: 5'9"
Build: Slender, bordering on skinny, a few muscles
Eye colour: Pale red (kind of pink but Kiel won't readily admit that) with a darker red ring around the iris
Hair: Brown with strands of blonde and red. Short but messy.

First Impressions: He is a runt by Dracovarian standards so his eye colour clashes with his height and build. He is almost always eating, wears clothes with pockets on almost every surface (all of which are jammed with snacks and knick knacks), and he is never still. He can seem like a talkative and naive teenager who has run away from home with his father's weapons.

Distinguishing Features: Kiel has a tribal armlet tattoo circling his upper right arm.

Play-by: Ian Somerhalder

P E R S O N A L I T Y

Kiel is incurably cheerful, easy-going and hyperactive. He's never met a stranger and isn't touched by issues like racism or sexism because he takes people as they are, not by their stereotypes. He can be obnoxious in his friendliness but he has an incorrigible sense of humour that tickles him probably more than it does anyone else. He is also never still, having a tendency to bounce on his toes or to fidget. Having verbal diarrhea, he tends to spit out almost every thought that springs to mind. As a result, he's apt to getting into trouble because he doesn't suffer bullies gladly and can't keep his big mouth shut. If you're hungry, check his pockets. He usually has at least half a dozen snacks on his person somewhere, although most are probably half eaten already.

B A C K G R O U N D

Name: Ezekiel Taskel
Birthdate: Tesseminas 2, 9533 XA (2nd of December, 1533 AD)
Hometown: Taskel Holdings, Dardanos
Financial Status: Fluctuates

A F F I L I A T I O N S

Family: Taskel Family
Marital Status: He has a boyfriend

Partner: Zephyr Cairbre
Children: None

Father: Matthias Taskel
Mother: Reggie Taskel
Siblings: RayRay, Lacey, Tad, Pheebs, ChloChlo

Paternal Grandparents: Ezekiel & Heloise Taskel
Maternal Grandparents: Obediah & Natalia Valen

Skill Master: Zephyr Cairbre & Vander Pace
Boss: Zephyr Cairbre & Marty Clausson Currently on loan to the Alexandrian City Guard

Organisations: League of Protectors attached to the Alexandrian City Guard

H I S T O R Y

Kiel is the fourth child in a family of six with two older brothers, an older and two younger sisters, and was born and raised on a landstrider farm in a quiet town in Dardanos. He dotes on his youngest sister just as the rest of his family does, but he has a special relationship with her as they're very similar. Both are almost allergic to academia and are much more emotional than the rest of the Taskels who are, almost to a one, serious, straight-faced and taciturn.

That said, while Kiel's relationship with his father is strained due to Matthias' inability to accept Kiel's oddball mentality, Kiel enjoyed his childhood. His brothers teased him mercilessly, as older brothers are wont to do, but there's real affection between them and he really looks up to them for their different achievements. He's less affectionate towards his middle sisters, Lacey and Phoebe, but he still loves them dearly. His best relationships, though, are probably with his mother and the youngest sister, Chloe.

He hated being schooled by his mother and anything related to studying, so Kiel's known for a long time that the more mental Septs were out of his league (especially Peteulanus). He had been semi-training in preparation for joining the Rutilus Sept for a few years, but wasn't particularly enthusiastic about the idea as he didn't relish the thought of getting hurt or having to hurt others. In fact, he would probably have chosen not to join a Sept at all and follow more in his brother Ray's footsteps if he didn't want a dragon of his own so badly. That said, he isn't averse to fighting and enjoys it most of the time, especially when he's training with Zeph.

I N V E N T O R Y

P R O P E R T Y

HOUSE
Address: #2A Forest Road, Alexshire
Tier|Type: 1|Flat
Description: It was a fixer-upper when Kiel moved in, but he's done the place up proud now. A two-up two-down that's half of a detached house, he sublets from an old woman whose family moved away, leaving her to foot the bill for a too-big house. It's a short (for him, at least) walk to both his workplaces (and food), but still close enough to the fields for him to play with Shane.

SHOP
Address: Alexshire
Description: Dragon Scales Smithing isn't actually Kiel's shop. It belongs to his boyfriend, Zephyr, but Kiel still works there part-time and helps out even when he's not meant to be there.

A N I M A L S

DRAGON
Name: Prianakerani
Species: Dragon
Class: Draconi
Gender|Age: Female|?
Description: Kiel's bond with Pria is brand new, so there's bound to be some rough spots, but Kiel already adores her — and not only because she's a dragon, or just because she's the first draconis in his immediate family. Pria is a rutilus dragon, and barely out of infancy. It seems like she'll enjoy Kiel's company once they've developed their bond a little, since she's as energetic as he is, and quite enthusiastic about having a partner.

COMPANION
Name: Shane
Species: Shadowkin
Gender|Age: Female|?
Description: Shane is shadowkin, and by her very nature "the coolest creature in existence". Kiel adores her, dotes on her, and is very rarely separated from her. They love running together and playing chase, but they also enjoy snuggling together on the sofa. Shane is very possessive of her Chosen, but it's made Kiel extraordinarily happy. She's filled a lonely hole inside him and he can't imagine what his life was like before her.

E Q U I P M E N T

COMBAT GEAR
Item: Dragon Claw (Katana)
Description: Black and silver, his replacement replacement katana has a four-pronged "claw" at the base of the hilt and a pewter dragon head at the top (like this). The eyes of the dragon on the hilt are tiny rubies and the blade is edged with diamonds so it can cut through (almost) anything. He found it in the treasure pulled from Dionica but it was later badly damaged and then lost in Acantha.

Item: Pair of Hook Swords
Description: A "totally badass" pair of hook swords that were a gift from Zeph for his 477th birthday. "How awesome is that?!"

Item: 35 Throwing Knives
Description: Originally a set of 20, Kiel's knives have been dwindled down to next to nothing thanks to various monsters eating them, and then he bought some more.

Item: Boomerang
Description: "A redwood boomerang engraved with a dragon that looks suspiciously like Pria" from Xanth's Grotto 2011. He's not very skilled with it at present.

Item: Black Rose Flask
Description: A silver flask that has two compartments, one with 10 uses of tepumine (for life-threatening injuries) and the other filled with 10 uses of golding (for major injuries). The flask bears the emblem of the Black Rose cabal, and the number of the Crypt's main COM is engraved on the bottom. This flask enables Kiel to call the cabal if he ever needs their help. (Reward from the Great Vampire Hunt.) The original potions have been used up, but Kiel refilled it so it still holds 10 uses of tepumine and golding each.

Item: 5 Carsic Acid
Description: Set of 5 containers of carsic acid. (Reward from the Dionica Crucible.)

Item: 8 Flash Grenades
Description: See Prize Shop description. It is assumed that Kiel used 2 off-screen during the Acanthan Arc.

Item: 1 Tepumine
Description: For major to life-threatening injuries. Originally a box of 5, he used 2 to refill his Black Rose flask which was then emptied during the Acanthan Arc. He has now refilled it again using 2 tepumine vials from this set, leaving him with just one vial that is kept in the box at home.

Item: 1 Golding
Description: For moderate to major injuries. 2 were used to refill his flask for the Acanthan Arc, both of which were used up. 2 more have been used to refill it since, leaving him with just one vial that is kept in the same box as the tepumine back home.

Item: Jademine
Description: A glass vial filled with enough jademine for 3 uses. (Reward from Xanth's Grotto 2010. Used during the Anorian Expedition.)

MISCELLANEOUS|MUNDANE
Item: Remnants of his first katana
Description: A "really cool katana that I bought from Zeph. Like, that's how we met, actually". It was red with a gold blade and gold trimmings. The blade was melted by acid-spitting wormlings during his involvement in the Anorian Expedition, but he keeps it as a keepsake, hung on the wall in his bedroom, of his first real weapon. Zeph has attempted to "fix it, fix it!" but then scrapped it for materials.

Item: Remnants of his replacement katana
Description: A gift from Zeph for his 478th birthday, this one had a steel blade, a black hilt, a ravenwood sheath and silver embellishments. Kiel was disappointed that it was so colourless until he saw the silver dragon embossed on the sheath. And then it got eaten by a kumo during the Dionica Crucible, leaving only the top of the hilt for him to mount on his bedroom wall.

Item: A beaten backpack
Description: He carries it everywhere with him and it's usually stuffed to the brim with snacks, any packages he's meant to be delivering, and sometimes Shane in her monkey form.

Item: Hats
Description: He has a pretty big collection of hats which includes 1 red-and-pink tartan bomber hat lined with thick faux fur (Xanth's Grotto 2009) and 1 gorgeous newsboy-style hat made of green cotton canvas and adorned with three long feathers, gold ribbon and various buttons (478th birthday present from Nicolay Armitage).

Item: Stuffed dragon
Description: A stuffed, dark pink dragon about six inches long. It's wearing a colourful, handmade scarf and a goofy expression. Its wings are meant to be re-posable but tend to flop to one side. (Reward from Xanth's Grotto 2009.)

Item: Thief-proof Wallet
Description: A brown and beige leather wallet covered in cutesy characters. It has a chainlink strap meant to attach the wallet to a belt to help prevent theft, and a cute little metal mushroom charm hanging from the clip. (Reward from Xanth's Grotto 2009.)

Item: Ruby
Description: A thumbnail-sized, flawless ruby from the Agraian mines. (Reward from Xanth's Grotto 2010.) It's assumed he has used this and more since he bonded with Pria.

Item: "Latin for Dummies"
Description: A book intended to teach Latin. (Reward from Xanth's Grotto 2010.)

P L A Y E R

Name: Emma
Referred by: I made the site, whee!
Gender|Age: Female|30
Random Encounters: YES
Permissions: Kiel is very touchy-feely so feel free to glomp him at will. He's also kind of obnoxious and for some reason brings out the worst in people, so you can also feel free to swat him upside the head at random too. However, please give me chance to react (and swat me if I get too ahead of myself with him) because he's unpredictable. Injuring him is fine but I am very attached to this character, so please no transforming, torturing, killing, etc.
Plotting: YES GOD YES
Other Characters: Xanth, Dazadi, Piper, Faroah, Maaike, Zozeko, Jericho

[Kiel]

QUICK STUFF

---

Name: Ezekiel Kiel Taskel
Nicknames: Easy, The Big Easy, Runt, Bubbles (courtesy of Lani), "Kid" (courtesy of Zephyr)
Gender: Male
Race: Dracovari
Class: Rutilus Sept
Specialty: Bonded Summoner
Age: 478
Looks: 22
Date of Birth: December 2nd, 9533 XA (1533 AD)
Financial Standing: Like, seriously poor right now, man. I have to work! How lame is that?!
Sexual Orientation: Straight as a ruler. Don't you listen to my brothers. Except, like, I have a boyfriend. But I'm not gay, man, for sers!

APPEARANCE

---

Art by Sky; click for full view

Model: Ian Somerhalder
Ethnicity: Caucasian
Height: 5'9" (1.75m)
Eyes: Pale red (kind of pink but Kiel won't readily admit that) with a darker red ring around the iris
Hair: Brown with strands of blonde and red. Short but messy
Build: Slender, bordering on skinny, a few muscles
Fashion Sense: His sense of fashion runs to worker jeans, cargo pants, sleeveless t-shirts, hoodies, denim and lots of colour. And, of course, the aforementioned hats. He's nuts about his hats.
Distinguishing Features: Kiel has a tribal armlet tattoo circling his upper right arm.

Kiel is a bit of a runt at 5'9" and is slender, bordering on skinny, into the bargain. He's been working out for the last few years in preparation for joining the Rutilus Sept so he does have a few muscles here and there, but he's not going to be wielding a heavy longsword any time soon (which is probably why he chose the lighter Japanese sword instead). Due to his high metabolism and the fact that he can't sit still (he's actually been likened to a ping pong ball by his family), there's not an ounce of fat on him (this is despite the sheer volume of food he manages to consume on a daily basis).

His eyes used to be ice-blue with a darker blue ring around them but, since finally committing to the Rutilus Sept they've become a pale red with a darker red ring around them. No matter the colour, they're usually bright with some mirth or mischief. His hair, which Kiel considers to be "plain and boring" brown, has strands of blonde and red running through it that catches the sunlight beautifully, but is usually hidden beneath one of his many hats.

Personality

---

Kiel is incurably cheerful, easy-going, and hyperactive. He's never met a stranger and isn't touched by issues like racism or sexism because he takes people as they are, not by their stereotypes. (In fact, most of the time, he's completely unaware of such issues.) He can be obnoxious in his friendliness but he has an incorrigible sense of humour (whether or not anyone else finds him funny, he certainly does) and never sits still. Having verbal diarrhea, he tends to spit out almost every thought that springs to mind. As a result, he's apt to getting into trouble because he doesn't suffer fools or bullies gladly and can't keep his big mouth shut.

If you're hungry, check his pockets. He usually has at least half a dozen snacks on his person somewhere, although most are probably half eaten already.

---

KNOWLEDGE

---

• Hats: Excellent. The same way some women know shoes or Gucci bags, Kiel knows his hats.
  
• Elysian: Fluent (Dardanian dialect, so he might stumble over some words on the mainland, and he can be a bit dumb with longer words so might get the wrong one anyway)
  
• Latin: Working (He struggles with it but he knows it's important for his rites so it's the one academic subject he really worked hard at)
  
• Cooking: Good (Kiel eats a hell of a lot on any given day so he's a pretty good cook. Not on chef level and he wouldn't know how to cook for more than 10 people at once, but he enjoys it)

[Xanth]

---

SKILLS & POWERS

---

Packs Used Starter (5), Modest (5)
Posts Used: 260* (16)

• Combat 3 (max) (Katana)
  
• Combat 2 (Throwing Knives)
  
• Combat 2 (Judo)
  
• Combat 2 (Hook Swords)
  
• Combat 1 (Boomerang)
  
• Divine Guardian 1 (Imp Dragon)**
  
• Hoard 5 (max)
  
• Might 4
  
• Speed 4 (max)
  
• Summon Bonded Dragon 3

* 2 upgrades purchased ¹/₂ price during Love Weekend 2010.
* 4 upgrades purchased ¹/₂ price during EF's 5th birthday (August 2011).
** 1 Divine Guardian free from Xanth Day 2010.

[Kiel]

---

INVENTORY

---

PROPERTY

• Address: #2A Forest Road, Alexshire
  Tier: 1
  Type: Flat
  Pack used: Starter
  Description: It was a fixer-upper when Kiel moved in, but he's done the place up proud now. A two-up two-down that's half of a detached house, he sublets from an old woman whose family moved away, leaving her to foot the bill for a too-big house. It's a short (for him, at least) walk to both his workplaces (and food), but still close enough to the fields for him to play with Shane.

PETS & COMPANIONS

• Shadowkin* (see NPCs)
  
• Prianakerani* (see NPCs)

SPECIAL ITEMS

• None used.

ENCHANTED ITEMS

• None.

WEAPONS & ARMOUR

• Katana
  The remnants of a "really cool katana that I bought from Zeph. Like, that's how we met, actually". It was a cross between this and this but was red with a gold blade and gold trimmings. The blade was melted by acid-spitting wormlings during his involvement in the Anorian Expedition, but he keeps it as a keepsake of his first real weeapon. — DESTROYED BY WORMLINGS during the Anorian Expedition. Zeph has attempted to "fix it, fix it!" but then scrapped it for materials.
  
• Throwing Knives
  A set of 20 throwing knives. "Like, a couple have gotten all bent out of shape during my training sessions, though, but that's just 'cause I'm so strong. Like, right? Hahahaha."
  
• Hook Swords
  A "totally badass" pair of hook swords that were a gift from Zeph for his 477th birthday. "How awesome is that?!"
  
• Replacement Katana
  A gift from Zeph for his 478th birthday, this one has a steel blade, black hilt, ravenwood sheath and silver embellishments. Kiel was disappointed that it was so colourless until he saw the silver dragon embossed on the sheath. And then it got eaten by a kumo during the Dionica Crucible.
  
• Dragon Claw Katana
  It looks like this. He found it in the treasure pulled from Dionica.
  
• Boomerang
  "A redwood boomerang engraved with a dragon that looks suspiciously like Pria" from Xanth's Grotto 2011.

SUPPLIES

• Health Kit
  
  • Black Rose Flask
    A silver flask that has two compartments, one filled with 10 uses of tepumine (for life-threatening injuries) and the other filled with 10 uses of golding (for major injuries). The flask bears the emblem of the Black Rose cabal, and the number of the Crypt's main COM is engraved on the bottom. This flask enables Kiel to call the cabal if he ever needs their help. - From The Great Vampire Hunt plot of 2010.
    
  • A glass vial filled with enough jademine for 3 uses (from Xanth's Grotto 2010) — used up during the Anorian Expedition.
  
  
• Carsic Acid
  Set of 5 containers of carsic acid (reward from Dionica).

CLOTHING & MISCELLANEOUS

• A beaten backpack.
  
• Clothes. Probably more than he needs but he avoids doing the laundry so they have to last as long as possible, at least until he can get the rest of his stuff shipped over. See "Wardrobe".
  
• Cupcakes that his mom snuck in to his pack — long since eaten.
  
• Some cash his mom backhanded to him when his Dad wasn't looking — long since spent.
  
• And, of course, a ton (ie, a suitcase full) of hats (and that's still not all the ones he owns, but his dad refused to pay for shipping for them all and Slythe won't carry them home for him, so he's forced to bring them over a couple at a time).
  
• A red-and-pink tartan bomber hat lined with thick faux fur from Xanth's Grotto (2009).
  
• A stuffed, dark pink dragon about six inches long. It's wearing a colourful, handmade scarf and a goofy expression. Its wings are meant to be re-posable but tend to flop to one side. From Xanth's Grotto (2009).
  
• A brown and beige leather wallet covered in cutesy characters. It has a chainlink strap meant to attach the wallet to a belt to help prevent theft, and a cute little metal mushroom charm hanging from the clip. From Xanth's Grotto (2009).
  
• A gobstopper from Xanth's Grotto (2009) — he finally managed to eat it.
  
• A gorgeous newsboy-style hat that Niccy gave him for his 478th birthday, made of green cotton canvas and adorned with three long feathers, gold ribbon and various buttons.
  
• A thumbnail-sized, flawless ruby from the Agraian mines, received during Xanth's Grotto 2010.
  
• Another gobstopper, from Xanth's Grotto 2010, that he ate right away.
  
• "Latin for Dummies" from Xanth's Grotto 2010.

[Kiel]

---

Background

---

Place of Origin: A small taroch farm a morning's cart ride away from a quiet town in Dardanos
Current Residence: 2A Forest Road, Alexshire
Occupation: Zephyr's slave shop assistant in the weekday mornings and early afternoons; city courier working for a guy called Marty in the late afternoons, early evenings, and Saturdays
Daily Life: Kiel's full of energy so holding down two jobs isn't too hard for him, even though one is to run around the city and the other involves a grumpy guts called Zephyr Cairbre. They're both good training for him, so he doesn't mind that he's not getting rich off his wages.

He bounces out of bed early in a morning, grabs a snack, works out a little, has a shower, gets some breakfast, then trots off to work at Zephyr's shop for the morning. Afternoons and weekends he hops around the city delivering packages. Whatever he's doing, throughout the day he'll eat numerous more snacks, mini meals and real meals, then gets home exhausted (but still energetic) fairly late. He'll work out again and do some training, then take another shower (and another snack) before hopping into bed where he'll pass out cold until morning. A few times a week, he has training sessions with Zephyr or Vander Pace. At the weekends, he likes to go socialising but doesn't have a set circle of friends yet so he's exploring his options a bit. He does spend most of his free time with Zephyr whenever he can, though.
Family History: Kiel is the fourth child in a family of six with two older brothers, an older and two younger sisters, and was born and raised on a landstrider farm in a quiet town in Dardanos. He dotes on his youngest sister just as the rest of his family does, but he has a special relationship with her as they're very similar. Both are almost allergic to academia and are much more emotional than the rest of the Taskels who are, almost to a one, serious, straight-faced and taciturn.

That said, while Kiel's relationship with his father is strained due to Matthias' inability to accept Kiel's oddball mentality, Kiel enjoyed his childhood. His brothers teased him mercilessly, as older brothers are wont to do, but there's real affection between them and he really looks up to them for their different achievements. He's less affectionate towards his middle sisters, Lacey and Phoebe, but he still loves them dearly. His best relationships, though, are probably with his mother and the youngest sister, Chloe.
General Background: He hated school and anything related to studying, so Kiel's known for a long time that the more mental Septs were out of his league (especially Blue). He's been semi-training in preparation for joining the Rutilus Sept for a few years, but wasn't particularly enthusiastic about the idea as he doesn't relish the thought of getting hurt or having to hurt others. In fact, he would probably have chosen not to join a Sept at all and follow more in his brother Ray's footsteps if he just didn't want a dragon of his own so badly. That said, he isn't averse to fighting and enjoys it most of the time, especially when he's training with Zeph.

[Kiel]

---

IMMEDIATE FAMILY

---

---

Father: Matthias Taskel

---

Dragon: Aelia [EY-lee-uh]
Type: Earth Wyrm
Gender: Female
Colour: Bronze

Species: Bonded Rutilus Dracovari
Age: 2,307
Looks: 39
Occupation: Taroch farmer
Residence: A small taroch farm on Dardanos
Physical Description: ?
Personality:

• Old-fashioned (according to Kiel)
  
• Takes honour and duty seriously
  
• Doesn't get on well with Kiel's oddball mentality
  
• Cares a lot about how others see him and his family

Notes:

• Distant but loyal relationship with dragon

---

Mother: Regina "Reggie" (Valen) Taskel

---

Dragon: Tullia [TULL-ee-uh]
Type: Air Wyvern
Gender: Female
Colour: White and silver

Species: Bonded Peteulanus Dracovari
Age: 2,298
Looks: 39
Occupation: Taroch farmer
Residence: Taskel Stables, a small taroch farm on Dardanos roughly 200 miles north of the Three Sisters.
Physical Description:

• Long white-blonde hair, very pale

Personality:

• Similar to Matthias but a bit looser
  
• Sweet but sort of implacable

Distinguishing Features: ?
Notes:

• Awesome cook, taught Kiel everything he knows
  
• Good relationship with dragon

---

Eldest: Raymun "Ray / RayRay" Taskel

---

Species: Viridis Dracovari
Gender: Male
Age: 1,781
Looks: 34
Occupation: Hay farmer
Residence: Taskel Holdings, a small hay farm on Dardanos, roughly 50 miles east of Taskel Stables.
Physical Description:

• Short dark brown hair, greying a bit (or so Kiel says)

Personality:

• Unrelentingly serious but can be mischievous/playful when tormenting his brothers

Distinguishing Features: ?
Wife: Adèle Villeneuve
Children:

• Gilbert "Gillie" Taskel
  
• Emilie "Em / Emmy" Taskel

Notes:

• Awesome husband and father (in Kiel's eyes)
  
• Dragonless and barely Septed

---

Second: Lachesis "Lacey / Laces" (Taskel) Ulliel

---

Dragon: Iskrani "Ani"

[ih-SKRAH-nee]

Type: Water Wyvern
Gender: Female
Colour: Baby blue

Species: Bonded Petelanus Dracovari
Gender: Female
Age: 1,498
Looks: 31
Occupation: Unknown (but something that requires business suits)
Residence: Don't know yet
Physical Description:

• Long hair, platinum blonde, wears it up in a bun
  
• Wears business suits, often even when not working

Personality:

• Bossy
  
• Straight-laced

Distinguishing Features: ?
Husband: Addison "Addy" Uliel
Notes:

• Married to Addison Ulliel (who has a moustache Kiel calls a caterpillar)
  
• No kids
  
• Her Sept is a secondary part of her life
  
• Jealous of Kiel's metabolism (so he says)
  
• Makes awesome desserts
  
• She and Ani seem stiff with each other but are loyal to one another

---

Third: Thaddeus "Tad" Taskel

---

Dragon: "Neko" [NEE-koh]
Type: Oriental Peteulanus
Gender: Male
Colour: Royal blue with gold trim

Species: Bonded Petelanus Dracovari
Gender: Male
Age: 1,361
Looks: 27
Occupation: Perpetual student
Residence: The White City in Nirim
Physical Description: ?
Personality:

• Ambitious and serious about his studies (Kiel thinks he wants to be Wyvern)
  
• Intelligent and studious
  
• Knows how to kick back and party (when he's not buried neck-deep in books)
  
• Likes the ladies

Distinguishing Features: ?
Notes:

• Bit of a lady killer
  
• Good relationship with his dragon
  
• Neko's name is actually much longer and in draconic (he's a severe traditionalist and always refuses to translate it as most other dragons have) which is tough to pronounce so Tad's the only one who doesn't shorten it (although for my sanity I'll always put "Neko*" to indicate the extra when Tad's speaking)). Kiel will sometimes mumble "kerfuffle" at the end of Neko's nickname (Nekokerfuffle) to pretend he's saying the long version.

---

Fifth: Phoebe "Pheebs" Taskel

---

Species: Unbonded Petelanus Dracovari
Gender: Female
Age: 428
Looks: 22
Occupation: Perpetual student
Residence: Taskel Stables with her parents when she's not at school (I think she studies in Nirim like Tad)
Physical Description: ?
Personality:

• Intelligent and intellectual

Distinguishing Features: ?
Notes:

• Takes her Sept very seriously

---

Sixth: Chloe "Chlo / ChloChlo / The Baby" Taskel

---

Species: Dracovari
Age: 118
Looks: 16
Residence: Taskel Stables with her parents
Physical Description:

• The prettiest and cutest baby sister ever (Kiel's own words)
  
• Short and spiky pixie cut. Her hair's naturally dark brown but she dyes it wheat-blonde with pink highlights, or near-black with red highlights

Personality:

• Smart but not academically minded

Distinguishing Features: ?
Notes:

• Makes awesome cookies
  
• Too young for a dragon
  
• Not too young for dating *panic*

---

EXTENDED FAMILY

---

Paternal grandfather: Ezekiel "Granpa" Taskel
Paternal grandmother: Hèloïse "Grams" Taskel
Maternal grandfather: Obediah "Obie / Gramps" Valen
Maternal grandmother: Natalia "Nanna" Valen

And a lot of uncles, aunts and cousins!

---

RELATIONSHIPS

---

Boss/Boyfriend/Mentor: Zephyr Cairbre

---

Dragon: Slythe [SLY-th]
Type: Western Viridis
Gender: Male
Colour: Mustard and lime

Dragon: Derina "Derry"
Type: Water imp
Gender: Female
Colour: Pale purple

Kiel and Zephyr shouldn't get on nearly as famously as they do. Actually, from the outside, it probably looks like they don't get along, but Kiel worships the ground Zeph walks on. What's not to love? The dude's got fighting skills coming out of his ears and makes kick-ass weapons, plus he has dragons, man! Dragons plural!

Despite Kiel's insistence that he's straight, he and Zephyr have become an awkward item. Well, hey, Kiel's not the type to shy away from his feelings so when his sister, Lacey, forced him to realise his attraction to the big guy, the only thing stopping him was his conviction that Zeph was straight (and would turn him into a coffee pot for daring to hit on him). The second that obstacle was kicked away, Kiel jumped at the chance. Now, they're supposed to be taking things slow but at Kiel's pace who knows where they'll be in a month?

Friend? Sabrina "Sabs" Casius

---

Kiel met Sabs at the Xanth Day party in Espur, before he realised his attraction to Zeph. He'd arranged to meet Sabs later, but somehow he wound up missing her, otherwise things might have gone very differently for him. When he (literally) bumped into her again while working, he invited her to Zeph's but the big guy got jealous and scared the poor Nymph away. Kiel hasn't seen her since, but he still considers her a friend.

Friend: Euphenia "Phenny" Vallas

---

They didn't meet under the calmest of circumstances, but Phenny endeared herself to Kiel when she helped him get past the snowmen that were guarding Xanth's Grotto (2009). Their mad dash to safety wasn't the first, and Kiel was ecstatic when she agreed to meet him again the following week. He's completely enamoured of her, although his utter loyalty to Zephyr makes his relationship with Phenny purely platonic.

Friend: Lazuli "Laz" Kitay

---

Getting semi-drunk together has been the highlight of their relationship so far, but as far as Kiel's concerned there's little that could top that no matter what. It's a small world, they say, and Kiel's starting to learn that 'they're' right, since they're both also friends with Phenny and Sabs. He can't wait to spend more time with her.

Friend: Nicolay "Nic" Armitage

---

Even though Nic can't speak Elysian properly yet and Kiel can't understand English, Kiel still thinks of him as being a good friend. They somehow manage to communicate, but it probably helps that Kiel doesn't need Nic to speak for them to have a conversation.

---

NPCS

---

Other boss: Marty Clausson

---

Marty runs the courier service that hired Kiel, Clausson's Couriers. Unlike Zeph, the pudgy guy can't stand Kiel (well, you try figuring out what your staff's earned when you have to fish it all out of the kid's pockets at the end of the day, sticky half-eaten sweets and all) and only keeps him on staff because he's fast. Kiel has as little to do with Marty as possible (or, should I say it's the other way around?).

(Ex-)Instructor/Friend: Evander "Vander / Van" Pace

---

Vander was supposed to be instructing Kiel to advance his throwing knife skills, but Zephyr took over without Kiel really agreeing to anything (though no way he'd refuse). Vander's not actually as bad a warrior as Zephyr says, but he's not a great instructor either (from Kiel's perspective, at least) since he couldn't keep up with Kiel's hyperactivity or get him to focus. However, he's a nice guy so Kiel's kept in touch with him and they're now texting buddies.

Chosen: Shane

---

Shane is shadowkin, and by her very nature 'the coolest creature in existence' (according to Kiel). He adores her, dotes on her, and is very rarely separated from her. They love running together and playing chase, but they also enjoy snuggling together on the sofa.

Of course, Zephyr probably dislikes the latter since Shane is very possessive of her Chosen, but it's made Kiel extraordinarily happy. She's filled a lonely hole inside him and even though they haven't been together very long, he can't imagine what his life was like before her.

Divine Guardian: Imp Dragon

---

Kiel really had only one form in mind when his divine guardian showed up because he'd been thinking how crazy awesome it'd be to have a Derry of his own. The result? An imp dragon, smoky grey in colour because Kiel was imagining too many versions that clashed, with fiery orange eyes because he just happened to look at Zeph right then.

Kiel's guardian seems like it might be too lazy to do its job, though. Well, as often as he gets attacked, who can blame it?

Bonded Draconis: Prianakerani

---

Kiel's bond with Pria is brand new, so there's bound to be some rough spots, but Kiel already adores her — and not only because she's a dragon, or just because she's the first draconis in his immediate family.

Pria is a rutilus dragon, and barely out of infancy. It seems like she'll enjoy Kiel's company once they've developed their bond a little, since she's as energetic as he is, and quite enthusiastic about having a partner.

[Kiel]

---

AN INTERVIEW WITH KIEL TASKEL

---

((Warning: Exceptionally long. x_x))

Describe your physical appearance for us. How do you see yourself?

(A giggle, and then Kiel pauses.) Oh wait, you're serious? (Another pause.) Well. Obviously, I'm hawt. (He strikes a pose and grins, then turns serious.) I mean, you know, but like... I don't really think about what I look like, you know?

So try?

Er, well. If you insist, man, I mean... Well, okay, so like, I'm a runt, you know. At least, everyone says I am because I'm so short compared to, like, practically every other 'Vari I know. My brothers are huge which just, like, totally blows because they tease me all the time about it, but whatever. Serves 'em right when they find snakes in their bed, haha.

Oh, but right, yeah. Well, okay, so like, I have blue eyes. My mom says the colour reminds her a bit of icicles, but I don't know, I think they're a bit too dark for that. And it's totally weird to have her raving about icicles to her friends' daughters, but it's weird she raves about me to her friends' daughters in the first place, so whatever. Oh yeah, and they have a dark blue ring around the irises, which is kinda cool. My eyes, not the daughters... Like, obviously.

What else... Okay, my hair's kinda lame. It's just plain brown. Like, my eldest brother RayRay - haha, he hates that name - has this gorgeous, thick sable hair. And my baby sister, she has glossy black hair that she put pink highlights in, which just looks awesome, but mine's just this boring brown. Although it sort of glints like there's strands of gold and red in there in the sunlight, which is cool, but I'm kind of thinking about dying it, you know? Like, something totally outrageous just to annoy my dad, 'cause he's like... (He fakes a deeper voice) "No son of mine will be dying their hair." Except, like, I'm pretty sure RayRay's going grey so he probably does in secret or something. I mean, that would explain why his hair's so annoying, 'cause nobody gets hair like that unless it's fake or they're gay.

Or maybe, you know, just putting highlights in there or something. My hair, I mean. Like, I dunno, pink like my sister's. My brothers already tease me about being gay, so like... whatever.

Oh yeah, and I have a tat. It's awesome. My dad totally freaked. He was all, like, "No Taskel sports tattoos, it's undignified" and I'm like, "Well what's that on your shoulder then?" and he's all "That's different" 'cause it's, like, something from when he was merc- Oh wait, I'm not supposed to know about that.

And I've totally been working out! (He flexes his not-quite-impressive biceps.) Impressive, right? Yeah, I know, you want to throw yourself at me, haha.

Uh. Yeah. So are your brothers right about you being gay?

Well, no, haha. I kinda conviced them I am to get them off my back because, like, they were always teasing me about not having any girlfriends and because there's some pink and lilac in my closet. But hey, just because I like colours, you know? Except it kinda backfired, 'cause now instead of teasing me about not dating girls, they won't quit trying to fix me up with guys, the jerks.

But really, the not dating thing is a big deal in our family because, like, even the baby's dated a lot. Which, you know, is kind of impressive since we're all, like, so protective of her. But whatever, you know? None of the girls back home ever saw me as anything but a friend, which kinda blows, but I just take it that, like, I'm such a friendly guy, haha. My sister, though... She said once it was just because, like, trying to pin me down for a serious date is like trying to pin a cat to a wall but I mean... who the hell wants to do that in the first place?

Hah, maybe I can get a cat now my dad's not gonna be all over me about the mess it makes...

I, er, notice you're wearing a... somewhat spectacular hat, there. Can I ask where you got it?

Oh, sure! It's awesome, right? Yeah, no, my brothers tease me about it all the time, but like... it was a gift from my baby sister, so like... whatever, man, you know? They're just jealous.

This one's certainly colourful...

For sers! I like colour. I mean, like, what's the point of being all depressed and stuff, you know? Black's just sooooo boring. So is white, actually. And brown! Man, my brothers are boring, they never wear anything with colours in it. But Chlo's, like, all her stuff's pink and frou-frou, which is weird 'cause you wouldn't think she was into that stuff, haha.

But, yeah, I could only bring, like, a couple of hats with me, which kinda blows, you know? I miss my hats.

For sers?

For sers! Haha, sorry. When Chlo was younger, she couldn't pronounce "serious" for the longest time. It came out like "sers", and she just started saying "for sers" instead. And then it kinda caught on and the whole family started saying it. I say "like" a lot, too, haha, and "man". It's funny, 'cause all my friends back home used to be, like, "That's so annoying" but then they started doing it too. It was, like, an epidemic of awesomeness.

Can you describe your taste in clothes for us?

Uh, not sure why you want to know, but... I guess, sure. I mean, I like to tell people I've got a pretty eclectic taste in clothes but, like, I tend to gravitate towards certain things. Like, my closet back home is full of worker jeans, cargo pants, hoodies, sleeveless tees. I mean, I like to have a lot of pockets 'cause, like, I hate having to carry anything in my hands and, I dunno, I tend to have a lot of junk with me, like my keys and snacks and my wallet and junk.

I like denim, so I have a lot of jeans and denim jackets. Lots of colour, so like, I've hardly got anything that's white or black. My tees tend to be ones with funky designs on, too, but not, like, those stupid slogans that people think are funny. Oh, I have some long-sleeved shirts, too, just 'cause, like, Mom insists on dressing up for dinner and family visits. I mean, I like wearing them, she doesn't have to force me into them - not like Tad, haha - but I do prefer the stuff that doesn't make me feel like I'm at a job interview. I only have a couple pairs of shoes, though. They're both, like, sneakers. Mom keeps telling me I need some formal clothes now I've moved over here to get a job and all, but, like, suits make me itch so... whatever. They're not cheap, either, which, like, I have to worry about now. I mean, Dad's always made us work for the stuff we own, you know, but now I can't just blow it all on junk, you know?

Oh, man, but I love hats! I could rave all day about hats, haha. I have quite a few back home, mostly flat caps and bucket hats, but I only brought a couple of my faves with me. You already saw one, haha. I have, like, hooks all along one wall of my room back home and nearly every peg has a hat on it. I think they're awesome, you know? But, like, I don't just wear them to hide my lame hair, or anything. I just think they're cool, you know? And my family's always buying them for me for my birthday and stuff, so that's cool. Chloe's crazy awesome about it, haha, she buys me one whenever she's got some money saved.

Yeah, uh, you've mentioned siblings, but... it's hard keeping track. How many do you have, exactly?
Well, unless my dad's been a naughty boy... (He snickers.) I'm, like, in the middle of six. That's two older brothers who think they're gods. Man, those guys are annoying. And three sisters. One's older than me, the other two are younger. We don't see much of the eldest anymore 'cause, like, Ray and Lacey got married. Not to each other, obviously, that'd be gross. And Tad went to Nirim with his dragon to study, which is sooooooo lucky. I mean, the dragon part, not the studying. (He shudders.) I'm allergic to books, for sers! But man, it'd be awesome if I could get a dragon now. All this waiting blows.

I feel you. Have you made the decision yet, then? Whether you'll bond or not?

Totally! I really want a good relationship with my dragon. I mean, I see Tad with his, and my mom's... They're awesome, like, Tad especially, they can pretty much read each others' minds. I mean, maybe they actually can, I dunno, but you see them in action and... Yeah, that's what I want.

But, uh, promise not to say anything, but I, uh, kinda fantasize about what kind of dragon I'll get. I mean, Tad's always telling me it'll be forever before I'm ready, but I can dream, right? I'm kinda hoping for a Western 'cause then, like, you know, they're smarter and can fly and all. I don't want a wyrm 'cause, like, they're crazy scary, but I guess a wyvern would be cool. I can't wait.

But you have to join a Sept first, right? Have you made that decision yet, too?

Kind of. (He pulls a face.) I've never really been academically minded, so I kind of feel like I'm pushed towards Rutilus. I don't really want to be a fighter 'cause, like... live and let live, man. But I don't want to be Blue either, they kinda freak me out. I mean, I love my sister, but Pheebs gets this look that's just... totally creepy. You just know she's wriggling around in your skull and, yeah. I guess Aurumus wouldn't be too bad, but Greens... I'm not a wimp, but, yeah, I just think if you're dumb enough to get hurt in the first place, you should suffer the consequences, otherwise you just don't learn, you know?

But, like, haha, can you imagine me as a fighter? (He flexes his biceps again.) I've been working out, trying to get ready 'cause, like, my dad says they'll make mincemeat out of me to try and wash me out early, but I'm not giving up. Just because I'm smaller? Yeah, no, I'm not a quitter. Haha, I'm gonna get this really big sword and attach some griffin feathers. It'll look kinda weird, 'cause 'Vari weapons are already kinda massive compared to, like, others. But, yeah. It'll be funny.

Haha. So, can you tell us a little more about your family?

Sure, well, what can I say? They're great! Like, overbearing sometimes, and totally obnoxious. My brothers, especially. They get a real kick out of tormenting me, you know? I guess that's like most big brothers, though. It's actually been kinda weird since they left home, though, 'cause like... I'm surrounded by girls now. Haha, I bet my dad's having kittens now I've left home too! Hahahaha. But yeah, it was a good place to grow up. I mean, annoying as they were, it was great to have big brothers to back me up if I got in trouble. Which, you know, kinda happened a lot because, like, I don't stand for bullies and, well. I didn't always know when to keep my mouth shut, you know?

My sisters, man, they're all beautiful. My fave's the baby, just 'cause, like, we get on really well. I mean, I love Pheebs and Laces so much, and get on with them really well too, but in a different way, you know? Like, the others are all pretty much like our folks - kinda strait-laced, serious, more academically minded. But Chloe's more like me, more physical, emotional. She reacts to stuff where, like, Ray or Lacey would just stare. And Tad's kind of in-between. He's so serious about his studies, you know? Like, I think he wants to be Wyvern or something, so he's been prepping for that since he was, like, knee-high to a weevil. But he's also got this kick-back side to him. I mean, the dude knows how to party, you know? He can be kind of a jerk, too, though. I mean, he trotted girls through our house like they were going out of fashion or something. I guess he's probably the main reason I was more, like, respectful of the girls I met, 'cause, like... yeah, they deserve respect, you know?

I'm not gonna bore you with the rest of the family, haha. I mean, my folks and grandparents are all really serious. Hard to believe me and Chlo came out of that, right? Haha. My dad, especially, he's just kinda, like, really old-fashioned. He's really hard into all that honour stuff, which I know I ought to be paying attention to since I'm, you know, gonna join the Reds and all, but it's hard to take any of it seriously when he's just looking down his nose at me. Mom's looser, she's really sweet, but she's still got this sort of implacability about her. Like, they both care too much about appearances, how others view the family. Stiff upper lip and all that. Which, you know, isn't really surprising considering the grandparents, haha, but yeah.

But no, I'm really gonna stop there, 'cause, like, my family's huge. It'd take all day just to name them all and I'm pretty sure I'd forget someone important, and then they'd put live spiders in my mail or something. Well, no, that's usually me, but like, Ray's not above letting his kids send me "presents", hahaha.

Ew. Ah, you mentioned where you come from. Where is that, exactly, and what's it like there?

Exactly? Uh... are you a stalker or something? You're not gonna, like, go to my house and be all peeping-tommish or anything, right? (He peers suspiciously.) I'm not telling you my family's address, man, I don't know you. That's creepy. But, like, I hail from Dardanos. (He raises a hand in salute.) It's cool, nice place to grow up but not very exciting, you know? Well, I mean, like, apart from the volcanoes. But yeah, a 'strider farm's not, like, the most exciting place to grow up or anything, haha.

Do you have any allergies or anything like that?

You like weird questions, don't you? Haha. No, but I wish I could say no, but I'm kind of allergic to nuts. Not, like, majorly blow-up allergic, so I can lick peanut butter off a spoon if I want, but enough to be careful. Which kinda blows because I like peanut butter. It's a great invention, for sers. I like other nuts too, like pecan pie and stuff. Major suckage.

I don't really have any other ailments or anything, if that's what you were asking. I mean, Tad's always telling me a stiff wind would knock me over but, like, no way. I'm not that skinny, you know?

What do you have in your pockets?

That's another weird question, man! Like, you're not gonna rob me or something, are you? It's mostly junk anyway, but let's see.

Okay, so I got a cell phone which probably only Chlo's ever gonna call since, like, the rest of my family's hardcore anti-tech and Pheebs is just lame like that. Wallet, keys, chocolate bar. Mints, like, ew, those are disgusting. Another chocolate bar, key to... Wait. That's Ray's. Well, what's it doing in my pocket? Man, he's gonna kill me next time I go home. Oops.

What else? Leftovers from a bag of M&Ms, some more mints. Couple of receipts. A notebook. Haha, that's Chloe's. I forgot to give it back, but you can tell it's hers because it's Hello Kitty. Oh, and here's a Hello Kitty pen to go with it.

... Yeah, I'm never getting rid of that whole gay thing, am I?

Haha, probably not. Uh, that's kind of a lot of snackage...

Yeah, I'm always hungry. Like, for sers. My mom says it's 'cause I'm always bouncing off the walls, but I think I just have a high metabolism anyway. Laces is jealous, haha. Want a mint?

Er, no thanks. So... how much schooling did you have, and did you enjoy it?

For sers? No way, man. I hated school, and you know, 'Vari have a lot of schooling. It's, like, near constant for four centuries or something. Well, it was for me 'cause I had to redo quite a few classes a couple of times which, you know, seriously blows. Pheebs passed me a long time ago and never let me live it down, but I try pretend it doesn't bother me, 'cause, like, I don't plan on needing a solid academic background anyway. I mean, it would've been nice to have more choices, especially when it comes to choosing a Sept, but, you know, whatever. As long as I don't have to stick my head in another book ever again, I'm golden.

But, like, I also tried to set a good example for Chloe because she's a lot like me. She hates school too, but she's way smarter than me and we all think she's got so much potential, so I didn't want to, like, blow off my schooling and get really bad grades 'cause then I wouldn't have a leg to stand on when I needed to convince her to keep at it.

I'm not lazy or anything, though, you know? I mean, I always work hard, I just hate reading and find it really tough to focus on one thing for extended periods. I'm hoping physical training as a Rutilus will be different, though.

You mention setting a good example for your sister. Who are your role models?

Well, I mean, it depends. Some days, I'll say it's my dad 'cause, like, it upsets him to think his sons don't take after him. But mostly it's my brother RayRay 'cause, like, he's such a great father. I mean, it doesn't bother him that he never managed to summon a dragon or even get very far with his Sept, he's just totally content to be a family man and I think that's awesome. And his kids totally adore him, you know?

Man, I'm gonna miss those guys...

But, yeah. If I didn't want my own dragon so much, I'd just want to settle down and have a family like Ray 'cause he makes it look so fulfilling, you know? I mean, like, here's this totally, unrelentingly serious guy who only has a sense of humour if it involves tormenting his kid brothers, but then you see him with his wife and kids and he's so doting and devoted. I dunno, that just... yeah.

So, does that mean you're looking for love?

Haha, maybe. But no, not like... I dunno. It'd be nice if a girl would see me as more than just a platonic shoulder to lean on, 'cause, like, nah. I don't mind that, I think it's cool that, you know, I must treat girls well or something. But, yeah, that kind of stings, so I don't know, really. I wouldn't say no, maybe, but I kind of have other things I want to do, accomplish, before I settle down. I'm not like Ray, you know? I want to do stuff and, like, I'm not ready to settle down yet, I guess. Maybe some day in the future, though, right?

Wow. Okay, so describe yourself in three words?

Hahaha, you're kidding, right? That's, like, so lame. You can't sum up anybody in three words, that's just... Well, okay, but, like, you asked for it. My three words? Hawt, hawt, hawt.

Hahaha. No, but seriously, my three words are probably going to be, like, cheerful, easy-going, talkative, and hungry. I dunno, I mean, that's four words, haha. But, like, my family teases me about being incurably happy and having an incorrigible sense of humour, but those guys are so straight-faced they probably think, like, a vlareon's funny or something. I am definitely cheerful, though, I mean, like, I don't see the point in being depressed, you know? And yeah, hahaha, I have what Tad calls verbal diarrhea, like, once I get going I can't stop, hahaha.

But that's not three words, so yeah. But yeah, I'm, like, always hungry. I keep hoping that means I'm growing, but it must be really, really slowly 'cause I can't tell.

Do you have any favourite meals, then?

Totally. I love chocolate, lemon meringue pie. My mom cooks these amazing pies and Lacey's desserts are, like, to die for. Chloe's cookies are awesome too, and my mom's cupcakes. I bet she hid some in my bag, haha, she knows I adore them. I hope she didn't hide them in my undies, though. That'd be totally gross.

[Kiel]

(( Co-written by Russ. Rated 16+ ))

Spoiler

Kiel: Hey, hey, boss, have you seen the petty cash? *fondles while passing to search through cupboards on far side of room*
Zephyr: Yeah, it's where you left it in the front room
Kiel: Oh yeah *fondles on way back*

Ten minutes later...

Kiel: Hey, hey, boss, have you seen that staff thing you were making for Mrs Wannamaker? She's here to pick it up. *fondles while searching*
Zephyr: Yes, it's where you left it in the front room
Kiel: Oh yeah *fondle fondle leave*

Ten minutes later...

Kiel: Hey, hey, boss, you wanna snack? *fondles while on way to fridge*
Zephyr: Yes, I'm starving *grabs and smooches*

Twenty minutes later...

Kiel: Dude, like, I gotta stop coming back here, man, you'll never get any work done.

(( Co-written by Russ. ))

Zephyr: Kiel! Deal with this bloody paperwork.
Kiel: Okay, okay, man, sheesh. *pause* Ewwwww, why's it actually bloody?!
Zephyr: Don't ask, just do.
Kiel: Like, dude, fine, man. *mumble mumble fidget*

Ten minutes later...

Kiel: Dude, like, this is boring. Deal with your own paperwork!
Zephyr: *smacks Kiel upside the head*
Kiel: Wah, wah! *rubs* I'm never doing stuff for you ever again!

Ten minutes later...

Kiel: Hey, hey, boss, you want me to sort that paperwork out for you?

[Kiel]

---

Kiel's 477th birthday

---

These are the voyages of the starship... Okay, okay, it's the story of Kiel and Zephyr's trip to the Taskel farm for Kiel's 477th birthday, starting with Leafing Elysia on November 29th, 2009. Proofed by Russikibble to make sure I got Zeph right.

The Arrival

---

Sometimes Kiel figured the Taskel farm was wayyyyyy to close to the Three Sisters for comfort. Like, usually when they burped or something, but sometimes he'd sit in the hayloft with the 'striders snorting at their troughs and Ray's kids chasing around in the yard below, and he'd look to the purple-orange mountains in the distance and he'd wonder what possessed his great gramps to settle here.

And then he'd shrug and race down to the yard to chase his nephew and niece around until RayRay decided it was way past bedtime. Then Kiel would argue until he was blue in the face 'cause, like, he didn't care how many people called him a runt, he was not going to bed at 9pm with the kids, you know?

“Woohoo! Faster, faster, man, faster!”

It seemed Slythe wasn't talking to him, though, but that was okay. They were going pretty fast already, 'cause it hadn't taken long for the scattered buildings of the Taskel farm to jump from being, like, totally ant-sized to suddenly being right there. He was itching to hop off and chase up the hill with open arms and just, like, toss himself into his mom's waiting embrace, but, like, that kinda required landing first.

“Stop your fidgeting, will you? You're making me nauseous!” Dude, like, the dragon was totally in a foul mood today, and acting like it was Kiel's fault! But, like, why was it his fault the stupid lizard took his compliment as an insult, you know? Tell any of the Taskel dragons they were getting bigger and they'd be fawning all over you for, like, ten seconds. Tell Slythe and he threatened to cook you. Wah. So not cool, man.

Finally, they were on the deck and Kiel didn't wait for formalities or even for Zeph to get him down. Like, hurry hurry already, you know? He slid down Slythe's side like he was on some kind of ride and took off up the hill with a whoop!, not even stopping to watch Zeph get off or his dragon leave. Like, for one, he wasn't talking to Slythe either and for two, he was still smarting a bit over that whole carser thing. Mostly, though, he figured he'd give Zeph a chance to catch his breath and steel himself, 'cause he knew the dude wasn't looking forward to this.

“Mom! Mom! Like, dude, mom!” As he chased up the little hill towards the farmhouse, he spotted her rounding a corner of the stables and veered off. She barely had chance to spot him before he was trying to swoop her off her feet, and he almost succeeded! “Hahahahaha, mom, I'm hooooome! What did you get for my birthday, huh, huh? What's for dinner, man, I'm starving? Mom, I love you!”

She laughed as he continued to try and lift her, even as she swatted at his head to stop him. He only let go when her swats knocked his hat off. “Calm down, Kiel, it's another three hours until dinner. Anyone would think you never ate, the rate you shovel food into your stomach. I swear your legs are hollow.”

Kiel's grin flickered a bit. Like, that was way too close to the little spat he'd just had with Zeph, you know? But he shrugged it off right away and grabbed her hand. “Come on, come on, you gotta meet him, man, come on!” And he tugged her by the hand towards Zeph, who was just coming up the little hill like he had weights dragging at his heels. “Zeph, Zeph! Like, dude, this is my mom, okay? She's awesome. Mom, this is Zeph. He's totally awesome, man. He's, hahahahaha, he's my boss.” Skip the more intricate part for a bit, yeah. “Like. You know, at the smithy? Hahahahaha, look, look, he has an imp dragon, man, how cute, how cute! Derry, Derry, come say hi to my mom, man!”

Zeph inclined his head slightly in greeting in that way all old dudes seemed to have. His dad and gramps for sure, and Ray too, although not so much Tad. “Mrs Taskel, I'm pleased to meet you. Kiel's told me a lot about you.” Hahahahaha, and how.

A door banged somewhere and Kiel darted off to check it out as his mom welcomed Zeph to the family holdings. “Kiel's told us a lot about you, too, although I'm afraid his vocabulary is rather small. His days apparently consist of "awesomeness" and "coolness". I'm sure I taught him better, but he never did like his languages.” There was an affectionate smile on her face despite the disapproval in her tone, but Kiel was too busy glomping his baby sister to notice.

“ChloChlo!”

“Kiel! You're here! About time too, doofus, where have you been? I bet you were eating all the goodies as you were making them, right? Are there any left?”

“Wah! Leave me alone, ugly!” What was with everyone picking on his eating habits today? “Ugly, ugly! Hahahahahaha-wah!” She chased him, and even though he was, like, way faster, it was way more fun to let her think she could keep up and catch him, so he darted around in circles and in and out and tormented her, and then skipped past Zeph and his mom, around and around, until his mom, like, totally clipped him around the ear. “Wah! Mom! What was that for?”

“Behave yourself, Kiel, you're four hundred and seventy seven years old. Act your age, for Xanth's sake.”

“Hahahahaha, not for a couple of days, though, so, like, I'm still - wah, wah! Okay, okay, I'm sorry, man, sheesh!” Having been grabbed his the scruff of his collar and dragged forward to face Chloe, who, like, took after their mom sooooo much with the way she stood there with her arms crossed over her chest and her foot tapping in the grass, Kiel giggled and glanced at Zeph. The poor guy kinda looked like he'd swallowed a bug or something, so the second his mom let go, Kiel threw his arms around his girly-haired freak and squeezed. “Hahahahaha, you're so cute when you're grumpy, man.”

Then froze.

Like. Dude.

Chloe shrieked first. Like, that shriek girls had when they were excited or something? Yeah, and pump up the volume or something, man. Sheesh, that hurt. But then his mom got that "I knew there was something you weren't telling me" look and Kiel giggled nervously. No way he was letting go of Zeph, though. Like, his first instinct had been to drop the dude like a hot potato or something, but they'd been through that with the COM call. Zeph had been mad when Kiel didn't tell them straight away, you know? And Kiel could understand why. Like, no way he was embarrassed about dating a dude, but he could see where it would look that way. He'd just, like, kinda meant to tell them face to face, and then in the excitement of being home just kinda sorta totally forgot they didn't know yet.

“I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!” Dancing up and down, Chlo had her hands pressed to her mouth and she was squeeing like a total idiot. Kiel stuck his tongue out at her, 'cause, like, no way she'd known, you know? None of them had. They might have guessed, but no way they could know. “Kiel's got a boyfriend, Kiel's got a boyfriend!” She snickered, then squeaked and darted off when Kiel finally let go of Zeph and slammed his foot into the grass like he was going to lunge after her. He might have, too, except Zeph had been dead quiet the whole time, like he was letting Kiel deal with his family, which was kinda cool but also kinda scared him. The dude was so hard to figure out sometimes. Llike, most of the time, you know? Kiel didn't know if he was okay with things or totally peeved and just not letting on.

“Mom? Like, say something.” He hated when people got quiet, man. It was his mom's way of processing stuff, but, like, dude, for sers!

“Kiel, your old room is ready for you. Your father's been using it for storage but I managed to clean it up a bit and get him to move some of the boxes so you can get in, and I made up the guest room for you, Mister Cairbre.”

“Zephyr.”

“Yes, of course, and please call me Reggie? Mhm, Lacey did suggest the two of you would be happier sharing a room, but I thought she was teasing.” Dude, his mom totally looked like she wanted to grab him and tie him back to her apron strings, man. She was being way cool about it, but he could tell she wasn't prepared for it. Like, even if Lacey'd been gabbing, he didn't think his mom would ever be prepared for him bringing someone home - girl or boy.

“Mom -”

“Well, I did think Kiel would complain about sharing his room with a bunch of dirty boxes, so you two can just share the guest room? I... assume you'll be sharing?” Hahahahahaha, way to ask a personal question, man.

“Mom -” He'd nodded automatically, so she cut right across him all over again. Dude, that was starting to censored him off, man.

“Then, if you'd follow me, I'll show you to your room so you can, uh, get settled, Zephyr. Kiel, take his bags, he looks like he's going to drop that tin any second. You shouldn't let him use you as a pack mule, Zephyr, he's got a pair of hands all his own and I'm sure he knows how to use them.”

Was it just Kiel, or did Zeph's eyes start to twinkle like he thought something was funny?

[Kiel]

The Room

---

“Ta-dahhhhh!” Arms and door thrown wide so fast the backpack slung across his shoulder had dragged his shoulders back a little ways, Kiel stood in the doorway of his old room with Zeph at his back. Then Wah! and side-stepped to avoid the rebound, giggling. “Hahahaha, I'm so strong, man, did you see that? Hahahaha.”

Letting his pack slide to the floor haphazardly, Kiel hopped into his room and gestured frantically for Zeph to follow. They'd been headed for the guest room so they could unpack and stuff, but since they had to pass his old room anyhow, and his mom had been called to the kitchen before she could lead the way, he'd figured he could give Zeph a tour now instead of waiting. Plus - “Hats, hats! So cool!” Whipping off the one he was wearing to tuck it under his arm, he darted across the room, around a pile of boxes, and yanked a denim flat cap off its hook. “I'm so bringing my babies back to Alexshire with me, man. You think Slythe'll be censored if I make him carry another suitcase?”

“Yes.”

Aw.

“Ew, but, like, mom was right. Dad's totally taken over. Man, that blows.” He kicked at a box to emphasis the point, pouting for a moment. Then realised Zeph had barely said a word the whole time and pouted even more. Just for a second, you know, before perking up and hopping back to the doorway to retrieve his pack.

“This way, this way! Okay, so, like, that's the bathroom - dude, like, mom and dad have their own, that's so not cool. We all gotta share, man, like, six of us! Well, like, there's a lav downstairs if you're desperate and the chicks are hogging the upstairs bathroom, but it still sucks, you know? This one time, hahahahaha, Ray had diarrhea - totally not my fault, man! I so swear that chicken was cooked properly, you know? - and, like, Laces had a date so she was in there forever. The bathroom, I mean. And then, like, Ray was hogging the lav, you know, and we had to take it in turns using mom's but dad was all "rawr" and - hey, hey, here we are.”

This time, his pack slumped onto the white, floral lacy throw at the foot of the double bed. “So girly, man. You think my mom thinks you're gay or something? Hahahahahahaha, but, like, I'm pretty sure this is the only spare bedding we have, you know? Like, we have more than one set, but, like, it's all the same, hahahahaha.” It was a bit threadbare in places too since they'd had it for ages, but he loved the quilt, man. Handmade, you know? Actually, most of the linens were.

“Wheeeee!” Bouncey bouncey. Hahahahaha, he'd totally forgotten how springy this mattress was, man! Him and Chlo used to play bouncey castle on it all the time when they were kids.

“Kiel.”

“Wah! Dude! Don't do that, man, I nearly rammed by head up your nostrils.” Well, like, the dude would lean over like that, so close when Kiel was bouncing. “Oooh, hey, you wanna kiss, man? Awwww, it's okay, I know you're scared and - hey, hey, don't look at me like that, man, that's kinda creepy.” He looked too grumpy to kiss the dude just then, so Kiel pulled back, which wasn't all that easy since the big guy was seriously crowding him. The room wasn't all that big to start with, and most of it was taken up by the bed, and Kiel was sitting on a corner and Zeph was looming over him with those enormous fists pressed onto the mattress. It was kinda funny, the way those big hands looked on his mom's delicate lace.

“Kiel. I'm... not staying. I have to go back to the store -”

“No way!” This time, he really did whack the dude. He stood up so fast, the back of his head hit Zeph's chin. The dude slammed backwards, glaring that death glare of his, but Kiel was too busy rolling around on the bed clutching at the back of his head to notice, his hat flung off somewhere. “Wah, wah, that hurt! Dude, that hurt, man!”

“You shouldn't slam to your feet like that when someone's leaning over you, idiot,” came Zeph's churlish response as he rubbed his jaw.

“Wah! How's it my fault you're too lazy to stand up by yourself and, like, need a leaning post or something? Owwwwww. Dude. I think you broke my skull.”

“Don't be ridiculous, Kiel. No one can break your skull.”

“Wah!” He stopped rolling around to glare back at the dude, fully aware his glare was nowhere near as powerful as Zeph's and frustrated by it. “Did you just call me hard-headed or something, man? That's so mean. That's, like. So mean. And hey, hey, aren't you, like, the pot calling the kettle black or something? Hahahahahaha, hard-headed meanie.” Sitting up fully, Kiel continued to rub his head but changed the subject. “But, like, you can't leave, man. It's my birthday. You can't leave, okay? Like, I totally said I'd protect you, okay? I will, I will! Like, I won't make you do anything you don't want, okay? And, like.” Determined that his boyfriend should stay, Kiel frantically wracked his brain for infallible ways to make him stay. “If you leave, I'll be sad and my family will totally never forgive you and they'll beat you up and... and... I'll quit being your slave, and I'll make Slythe roast you alive and eat you, and then I'll, like, totally haunt you.”

“Kiel.” There he went again with the face-palming! Dude, that was annoying. “You don't haunt ghosts, ghosts haunt you. And I don't need protecting.” Kiel was pretty sure he just flinched when he said that, though, like he'd thought of something really nasty. Like his mom was gonna pluck his chest hairs one by one or something. Which could be kinda cool in a way, 'cause Kiel was curious to know if the dude would look just as powerful if he didn't have such a hairy chest, but, like, he wasn't that curious, you know?

But, like, he was pretty sure he knew what was going on with Zeph now. The dude just didn't get on with people, you know, so putting him in this situation where he was surrounded by them, and all of them with Kiel's best interests at heart...

Shove me in a room with a bunch of wraiths any day, please! That was pretty much what Kiel figured was going through Zeph's mind right now.

“Awww, it's okay, man. C'mere.” Slipping off the bed, Kiel slid his arms around Zeph's waist and pressed his face to the dude's t-shirt. It was totally new, 'cause Kiel had seen it in a shop window on his way home one day and immediately thought of Zeph, so it had that, like, crisp newness but was really warm from his skin. “But like. You can't go, okay?” He could feel the dude tense up when he said it, and he hovered between taking pity on him and being totally selfish. “Like. I guess it'd be okay. If you really don't want to stay, you know? I won't. I won't make you stay, you know?” He wasn't intentionally trying to blackmail the guy, but he couldn't help it. There was no conviction in his voice, and he sounded so depressed suddenly, there was no way even Zeph couldn't pick up on that. “It's just, that, like, you know, you're my boss and my boyfriend, hahahahaha, and I spend most of my life with you now, okay, and I wanted you to meet my family and it's okay if you don't get on with them, you know, I mean, Addy's parents can't stand mine, they just pretend so there's no drama at family gatherings, but then they avoid each other most of the time so, you know. But, like, it's okay. Figures I pushed too hard, you know. I just thought it'd be coo-mph.”

The dude was such an awesome kisser, man. Kinda hard to figure he didn't have a girlfriend or something, you know?

“You talk too much.” Hahahaha, did that sound just a little bit nice or was Kiel imagining things?

“Hahahahaha, yeah, but you love me anyway, hahahahaha.” Well, like. That wasn't true, but whatever.

“Damn it, Kiel.” That was, like, totally Zeph's favourite saying. But, like, the way he dropped his forehead to Kiel's and held on, Kiel figured he'd won. That was so the posture of a guy who knew he'd been defeated.

[Kiel]

The Rabble

---

“Mom. Mom! MomMomMomMomMom!”

“Yes, Kiel?” Totally unrattled. That's what he loved about her.

“You gotta feed me, man, I'm so hungry, I'm wasting away here.”

“You know where the stove is, Kiel.”

“Awwwww, you're so mean to me, man, don't you wanna cook for me?”

“Not particularly.”

“Aww, but you're already surrounded by, like, kitchen utensils and ingredients and you even got flour on your nose and in your hair.”

“That's for tonight's meal.” End of subject. “Your friend, he's not allergic to nuts or anything, is he?”

“Iunno,” Kiel shrugged, peering into the bowels of the refridgerator like he could magic something ready-made out of thin air. “Why don't you ask him? Like, he never complained about stuff I made.”

“Haha, that's a first.”

Whipping the 'fridge door closed, Kiel squealed like a girl and flung himself across the kitchen head-first to tackle his brother through the open door and into the hall. Tad might have hit his head or something on the way down, but the dude saw it coming and grappled Kiel around the waist and rolled so neither of them hit the deck first. Chloe stepped across them, handing their mother a fresh tomato from the veggie patch out front.

“Eat dirt, nerd!”

“You first, runt!”

“Wah, not a runt, not a runt! Doofus!”

“Ah, Zephyr, please, come, come, don't mind those two. Don't you dare break that vase! Would you like a drink, Zephyr?”

“Wah, not the hat! Give that back! Nyah!”

“Hey, no biting! Mom, Kiel bit me!”

“Just ignore 'em, Zephy, they'll tire out eventually. So,” Chloe continued smoothly, unperturbed by the startled look Zephyr gave her at having his name shortened - by barely a syllable - yet again. “Is he like this with you, too? How do you put up with him? Isn't he so annoying?”

“... Yes.”

There was an ulterior motive, behind, like, pretty much everything his family were going to say to the dude while they were under his mom's roof. Chlo was trying to figure out what Zeph's motives and intentions were, like Kiel was some kind of errant bride or something, and it censored him off even as it made him love them for trying to protect him.

“Wah, you're even - ngh, gerroff, Tad, you gained, like, two hundred pounds or something since I saw you - more annoying, meanie head.”

“Hey, I'm not fat! You brat, I'll make you eat your own feet!”

“But, does that mean yes, he's annoying, or yes he's like this with you, or yes to both, or...?”

“Chloe, leave the poor man alone. Between you and those two idiots, you'll make him think we're uncivilised.”

“Well. I dunno if you noticed, mom, but we kind of are -”

“Speak for yourself, young lady! Now, chop-chop. Break it up, you two, and go set the table. Kiel, there's bread in the larder, eat some of that if you can't make it another half hour. And don't forget to offer your friend some. Chloe, remember to put Zephyr at your father's end of the table, near the head, understand? He's a guest.” Reggie smiled, all friendly and polite, but again with the ulterior motives. Putting him near Matthias would give the older dude chance to grill Zeph, not just about their relationship but about how well Kiel was doing with his job and his training. Crap. “Oh, and someone tell your father that if he's late for this meal I'm going to skin him alive and let Aelia use him as a toothpick.”

That final threat got them moving where none of the previous orders had, Kiel heading straight for the larder for the promised bread while his siblings did as they were told. “Yay, food! Zeph, Zeph, check this out, it's got chocolate chips in it, how awesome is that? Hahahaha. You want some, man?” He knew better. Zeph didn't like to spoil his meals or whatever, but it'd be rude not to ask, you know? “Hahaha, this is the good stuff, man, you don't gotta butter this or anything, you just, like, rip it off. Hahaha, it's called frog bread, you know? 'cause you rip it, rip it, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!” Oh, man, he killed himself! Hahahaha. “Here, here, you ever tried choc-chip bread, man, it's awesome, awesome, try it!” Even though he knew it was a bad idea, he still ripped off a bit and stuffed it in the dude's mouth, surprised when Zeph didn't, like, spit it straight out or something. Haha, naw, he was too busy looking uncomfortable under Reggie's watchful gaze to be mean just then.

Besides, bread this good, Kiel just knew the dude loved it.

[Kiel]

The Gytrash

---

“Hey, hey, man. You see that bunch of stars right there? Right there, no, like, look at - ow, man, you didn't have to hit me.” Kiel fluffed at the hair Zeph's head-swat had mussed, wincing at the dude out of the corner of one eye. They were totally sprawled in the grass near the banks of the pond he used to swim in as a kid (if what he used to do could be classed as swimming, hahahahaha) watching the stars twinkle. It kinda reminded him of when he was about, like, seventy or eighty and he was the youngest, and his dad would carry him around on his shoulders and the whole family'd go for walks. Like, ostensibly for 'family time', but also 'cause they had a lot of predator problems back then, stalking the 'striders, so his dad had to patrol pretty regularly.

“What about it?” Zeph's chest was warm, but his arm under Kiel's shoulders was kinda hard and made him fidget a bit until the dude gave him that look.

“Like, don't you think it kinda looks like Old Man Winkle? You know, that dude that commissioned that spear made of, like, gold and diamonds and stuff and then never came for it? Like, what happened to that guy, anyhow? You think he up and died in a ditch some place? I feel kinda bad for him.”

“...”

“Like, I know you had to sell the thing at a discount 'cause it was so crazy awesome nobody wanted it, but you gotta admit the old guy had - wah, that's COLD, man!” Shooting upright to grab at Derry, who'd just sneezed snow all over the front of his shirt from where she'd been napping on his belly, Kiel squawked. “Payback, payback!” But as he jack-knifed out of the grass, something caught his eye from across the pond. Something way creepy. “Um. Zeph? Like, you brought your knives or something with you, right?”

“No, you're not using her for target practise.”

“D-dude, that's not even...” Zeph was the one always threatening that, and Kiel almost let himself get dragged into an argument about it, but he was slowly trying to get to his feet without drawing attention to the fact he was getting to his feet.

“What?"”

“Okay, so don't freak out, okay, but, like, there's totally a gytrash over the other side of the pond, right, and I think it's looking at us.”

“...”

Why did Kiel get the feeling Zeph didn't believe him? “For sers, man, it's right over - wah! Dude, there's another!”

Maybe it was the panic in his voice or just that Zeph was gonna get up anyway, but he was finally checking it out and then, “Dammit.”

“Like, you can take 'em, right, man?” The last time he'd encountered a gytrash, he'd been barely knee-high to a weevil and he had to be rescued by his dad. He was older and bigger now, but of all monsters this one freaked him out the most. Like, why'd it have to be a gytrash, you know? “And why the hell didn't I bring my knives too?”

If Zeph made any indication that he was aware Kiel had just finished an internal conversation out loud again, Kiel was too busy huddling behind the bigger dude's back while peering out to watch the pair of red-eyed dogs skirting the pond to notice.

“Here. Both eyes open.”

Taking a couple of the throwing knives Zeph held up, Kiel swallowed and nodded. Like, “You know if those things were anything but gytrash I'd be way cool about this, right?” Zeph didn't reply, just nudged him back further. “It's just 'cause one of these things - like, not one of these things 'cause my dad totally killed it already and I don't think gytrash come back to life, right? - almost killed me when I was a kid, right, so I kinda have a - wah!”

He was almost positive he'd just heard a low growl behind him.

“Um. H-how many gytrash are in a pack, man?”

“Six.” The dude wasn't shielding him any more, 'cause Kiel had turned around and was pressing his back up to Zeph's, staring at the pair of gytrash that had crept in behind them.

“I-is that normal or just, like, 'cause there's six in this pack?”

Zeph just glanced at him.

Crap. Yup. There were two more. Dude, how'd they all managed to creep up on them, man? That was, like, total suck, man!

“B-but you can take 'em, right?” Even as he was saying it, Zeph was tossing a knife and Kiel heard a whine, glancing around the dude's huge biceps in time to see one of the dog's go down with the blade sticking out of its eye. “Ewwwww.” And almost before the first had hit the deck, a second was down, and the other four were snarling and lunging.

If he'd had time, Kiel figured he probably would have panicked, you know? But he didn't, so he didn't. Instead, he went down under a ball of rabid fur and fangs and claws, not having time to throw a knife, only bring up his arms defensively. He heard a muted pounding sound and another whine, but he couldn't see what was happening out there 'cause the gytrash on top of him was trying too hard to bite off his face or something.

“Wah! Wah!” He had scratches up the wazoo, and had to focus all his attention on keeping the monster's jaws from wrapping around his throat or latching onto his arm. And then suddenly its weight was gone, and he heard another yelp.

“Up! Get up!"”

He scrambled to his feet, staggered a bit, then realised Zeph had three of the things going at him, the other three dead. Kiel didn't hesitate. He saw his boyfriend in trouble and just reacted, man. Like, one second the knife was in his bleeding hand and the next it was gone. He'd missed the vital organs, but at least he'd got the gytrash's attention?

“Crap, oh crap! Wah!” His feet scuffed in the grass as he staggered back and fumbled for another knife, but instead of throwing it - 'cause the gytrash was already on him by the time he had hold of it! - he used it like a dagger. It wasn't made for that, man, but it was totally better than fisticuffs, right?

A few scratches, slashes and lunges later, the thing was near-dead at his feet and Kiel was standing over it, staring, his chest heaving, tears in his eyes. The knife hung limply from his bloodied hand. He was dimly aware of Zeph, the other two gytrash dead or gone, jerking his knives out of the bodies and cleaning them on his pants, but Kiel couldn't wrench his gaze away from the one he'd nearly killed.

Like, he should be ecstatic right now, you know? But the thing looked so pitiful all of a sudden, and he just felt like a monster.

“Wah!” Zeph's hand was big on his shoulder, making him jump almost out of his skin. The dude didn't even say anything, but Kiel threw himself up against the big guy's chest and wrapped his arms tight around his waist, smooshing his face against his hairy pecs. There was no reaction for, like, the longest time, and then a big hand was cupping the back of his head. Zeph's chest and arm flexed, and Kiel squeezed his eyes shut. The gytrash hadn't made a sound, but he knew the big guy'd put it out of its misery.

“Let's go, kid.”

[Kiel]

Long Way Home

---

Two dashiri pulling a river barge. The massive beasts made it look easy, like they didn't have a few tons and a greedy merchant straining at their backs.

A man bidding farewell to his son, who was apparently headed to the mines looking for work.

A hunter boasting about his latest catch to another, who seemed ready to poke the dude's eyes out with the knife she was using to clean her fingernails.

An anka's scream scaring off a wannabe customer, then watching the dude scarper with his tail between his legs before he could tell the driver where he'd wanted to go.

Some chick raving about the latest gift she'd received from her sugar daddy, and her friend rolling her eyes 'cause she'd heard before how this one was "the one".

A ship pulling into the harbour, belly low in the surf and her sails down ready to dock.

These were all of the things Kiel noticed as he stood on Marport's docks amid a crowd of passengers waiting to board their own ship headed back to Espur. He'd been there for, like, ever since his ship had docked, but he couldn't quite bring himself to move, so he just stood there looking around with blank uninterest. Like, his eyes were totally dry, you know, but he felt like he'd already been crying for a month.

Not that, like, he'd ever known what that felt like, 'cause, like, only girls ever cried, okay? And he was totally a guy, and not even gay, so what did it matter anyway?

“Cheer up, kid, it might never happen.”

What the hell kind of moron decided that was a good saying for when people were depressed? Maybe Zeph's whole "stab first and ask questions never" was a good policy after all.

“It already did,” he moped, his bottom lip stuck out like he was trying to catch the rain. And, like, how crazy cliche was it that the weather matched his mood? It was like Xanth was up there sympathising with him or something.

“Oh. Well.” The dude opened his mouth, hesitated, shut it, and looked at Kiel's miserable face like he was trying to decide if it was worth another shot. “Well, then, things can't get any worse, right?” Kiel couldn't dredge up the energy to respond. Like, normally he'd launch into a bunch of stories about how he'd got to this dock, right, but today he just kinda stared at the dude like his best friend had just died. The dude naturally gave it up as a bad job, clearing his throat as he found someone else to latch onto and made like he already knew them so he could leave Kiel without hurting his feelings.

It wasn't like he had to try so hard, though. Kiel's insides already ached like he'd been hollowed out.

Where are you?

Lacey's text wasn't unexpected. He'd known as soon as he told his mom he was coming home that his siblings would all find out in short order and the theories about why would start to fly. He couldn't figure out why she wanted to know, though - except he totally should have. He'd barely texted her back before a bunch of people were screaming and lunging away from the pale blue wyvern that suddenly poofed right in front of him.

“Get on.”

Kiel just looked at his sister, perched on Ani's back like they were two halves of the same whole. Like, normally he'd be whoohoo!ing at the chance to ride on dragonback, but today his gaze was dull, like he was being told to climb onto a straw bale instead.

Although even that would normally generate some enthusiasm.

“Kiel, baby, get on.”

He still couldn't move. Somehow, seeing her made his dry eyes suddenly feel wet, like somebody'd thrown a bucket of water in his face. His feet froze to the wood beneath his feet. He could have stood there for, like, ever and not have cared, but it didn't matter. Ani just air-surfed forward until he was within reach, curled a claw over his shoulder, and jumped.

[Kiel]

A Day in the Life of...

---

Proofed by Russ for awesomesauce. This was a challenge for Summer Camp 2010.

02.14 am ― Visited lav.
02.16 am ― Back to bed.
03.08 am ― Went downstairs for midnight-ish snack.
03.15 am ― Back to bed. Brief tussle with Zeph for covers.
04.27 am ― Gave up on sleep. Texts Phenny.
04.28 am ― Detained by Zeph because of "that Nymph".
04.40 am ― Went for a run with Phenny.
05.02 am ― Shower. Brief tussle with Zeph for soap.
05.14 am ― Texts ChloChlo.
05.15 am ― BREAKFAST zomg.
05.29 am ― Brief tussle with Shane and Derry for leftovers.
05.30 am ― Brief tussle with garden hose for balance.
05.31 am ― Raced Zeph to work, escorted by Shane.
05.40 am ― Victory dance abruptly ended after that look.
05.45 am ― Assisted Zeph (butnotreally) while he stoked the furnace.
05.48 am ― Texts Chloe back despite "don't you dare".
05.59 am ― Opened doors to first customer. Shane naps under counter.
06.30 am ― Had fried egg sandwich for (second) breakfast.
06.50 am ― Not-so-brief tussle with Mr. Discount over price of arrows.
06.57 am ― Dance of semi-victory.
08.50 am ― Pestered Zeph while eating not-so-mid morning snack.
08.55 am ― Chased back to work by that look.
09.32 am ― Eats another not-so-mid morning snack.
09.55 am ― Bored. Gets out Latin book. Interrupted by text from Tad.
09.57 am ― Even more bored. Pesters Zeph for attention.
10.15 am ― Soooooooooooooo bored.
10.16 am ― Brief tussle with Derry over larger portion of snack.
10.17 am ― Derry won.
10.30 am ― Bathroom break.
10.37 am ― A trickle of customers eases the boredom.
11.12 am ― Bored again. Plays with Shane.
11.30 am ― Mid-morning snackage, whoo!
12.30 pm ― Closes store for lunch.
12.50 pm ― Loses tussle with Shane and Derry for leftovers.
01.00 pm ― Reopens store to a mean guy looking for "something special".
01.04 pm ― Has talked him into commissioning an expensive sword.
01.20 pm ― Teaches Derry and Shane how to roll over and play dead.
01.50 pm ― Pesters Zeph for attention. He's busy.
02.02 pm ― Texts nearly everyone listed in COM.
02.20 pm ― Gets out Latin book again during mid-afternoon snack.
02.45 pm ― Pesters Zeph for attention. Gets a goodbye kiss.
02.46 pm ― Leaves Shane at smithy and hops to Marty's.
02.57 pm ― Puts on courier's jacket. Tries to tell Marty a joke.
03.00 pm ― Is shoved onto street by sour-faced boss. Begins shift.
03.15 pm ― Customer gives him package that stinks like fish.
03.30 pm ― Turns out the package WAS fish.
03.32 pm ― Sent right back with "thank you" note.
03.48 pm ― Turns out the note was a declaration of war.
03.49 pm ― Is sent back with a fish head.
04.10 pm ― Is slapped. Thankfully, no reply at this time.
04.20 pm ― Returns to bazaar to wait for more customers.
04.22 pm ― Texts Chloe and Phenny to tell them about fish war.
05.00 pm ― Returns to Marty's after busy afternoon.
05.12 pm ― Tries another joke on Marty. Is kicked out, minus jacket.
05.30 pm ― Returns to smithy. Not technically on duty but helps out.
06.00 pm ― Tackleglomps Zeph for a kiss after closing store.
06.07 pm ― Starts on dinner and paperwork. Texts Chloe.
06.30 pm ― Drags Zeph away from furnace to eat.
07.00 pm ― Brief tussle with Derry interrupted by call from Mom.
08.00 pm ― Announces smithy officially closed and drags Zeph home.
08.20 pm ― Shower. Brief tussle with Zeph for soap.
08.45 pm ― Snuggles with Zeph, Shane and Derry in front of a movie.
08.50 pm ― Movie interrupted by bathroom break.
08.55 pm ― Movie recommences.
08.57 pm ― Movie interrupted by need for snackage.
09.00 pm ― Movie recommences.
09.15 pm ― Movie interrupted by call from RayRay and text from Chloe.
10.00 pm ― Movie recommences.
10.17 pm ― Movie interrupted for more snackage.
10.18 pm ― Zeph calls it quits. Bedtime.
11.00 pm ― Bathroom break followed by that look.
11.15 pm ― Falls asleep snuggling Zeph.

[Kiel]

A Day to Remember

---

((This was a challenge for Summer Camp where we had to write a scene from a character's future, a sort of "what if". I went with a different dragon for him in the end.))

Kiel stood with his heart in his mouth, both feet planted firmly in the grass. Not far away, Shane's heliolatry might have distracted him from his task, but he didn't think anything could do that. Nope, not even the adorable way his 'kin was presenting her belly to the world, her head practically twisted right off in that weird way she had of lying there like she was broken, could steal his attention today.

Hahahahaha, he was "focused, dammit", but wayyyyyyy too wired to be proud of himself.

Well, like, much, hahahahaha.

A spray of water showered up from the river, concealing the massive shape that came with it right up to the point where the colourful dragon thumped onto the grassy shore. Kiel almost scampered back out of the way, except, like, he knew it was a test, you know? To see if he had the guts to Summon properly, if he was worthy. They'd already been through this, man, during the official rites, but he knew from watching his family and from Zeph with their own dragons that the beasty dudes never, ever quit testing, pushing the boundaries. If he didn't push back, mark his turf, this dude would walk all over him, and considering the size of this beast, that was gonna be crazy painful.

“You Summoned me.” It totally wasn't a question, man, but despite being told constantly to show some respect, Kiel couldn't help but let loose a giggle of awe. His dragon's head jerked back as he rrrrrrumph'd, a sign of surprise and probably distaste, but Kiel couldn't help himself. He'd been trying so damned hard, you know, to be all serious and stuff, but his excitement proliferated through him too fast for him to do anything about it.

“Hahahahaha, this is awesome, this is awesome!” Dancing on the spot, Kiel clapped giddily. “I Summoned you! I Summoned you, man. Me!” he crowed, totally enthralled - and totally oblivious to the indemnity his dragon was gonna demand any second now for being dragged away from his nest.

Except the dragon didn't bite his head off like he kinda expected, just got all huffy. “Indeed. And was there a point to your Summoning me, or was it just so you could show off your lack of dancing skills?”

“Wah! Hahahahahahaha, dude! Hahaha, that's mean, that's mean!” He was laughing too hard to mean it, though. His dragon had a sense of humour. Oh, man, this was gonna be crazy awesome! “Shane! Shane, he's got a sense of humour, hahahahaha!” Shane blinked at him. She was totally jealous now she wasn't the only one sharing a bond with him, and he hadn't been able to convince her yet that he'd still love and adore her so she was being all ignorant and deliberately oscitant and stuff just to show her displeasure.

“Awww, but I still love you, man,” he told her, disheartened for a second. But then his dragon sighed, the exhalation ruffling those crazy long whiskers of his, and totally stole Kiel's attention all over again. He darted forward, one hand outstretched, and he suddenly found himself less than two feet away from the dragon's head.

Head tilted to one side so he could eyeball Kiel, the dragon projected, “You're a brave one”. For a second, Kiel totally felt like a bug who'd been tormenting a giant and been squished for it, but then he realised that, even though the dragon looked a bit surprised again, he didn't really look mad. Kiel giggled a bit and nudged his hand the rest of the way so he could totally coo over the feel of the dragon's spiny beard. “And you have no sense of decorum!” This time, the dragon was clearly annoyed 'cause he totally reared up and back and slammed his front claws down into the grass with enough force that it reverberated through the soles of Kiel's boots.

“Wah!” Kiel had totally been forced to jerk back his hand, but he didn't back away. Like, mostly 'cause he didn't get much of a chance to and didn't really think about it, but partly 'cause he didn't want the dragon to think he could be scared off like that. Besides, that was the only show of force the dragon made, and suddenly they were right back on (relatively) equal footing. “Dude! Don't you like being petted, man?”

“Petted?! I do NOT!” Another rearing of the dragon's head, but this time his body didn't follow so there was no ground-shaking thump.

“Awwwww, okay. But, like, you totally don't know what you're missing, man. Shane totally loves it, hahahahaha, don't you, man?” He did too, for that matter, except Shane's only response was to turn her back on him.

“And who is Shane?” Eyeballing Kiel again like he'd totally said something offensive, the dragon's jewelled gaze spun to the shadowkin and back again, and then he totally gave a dismissive snort that shot a stream of water out of his nostrils. That got Shane's attention, man. She totally didn't like being dismissed like that, and was soon on her feet and padding over to sniff derisively at the dragon like he was the unimpressive one.

Kiel was totally in his element.

“Hahahaha, that's so cool, man, so cool! Like, most of my family have westerns and wyverns, you know? Well, like, except for Tad, but Neko-kerfuffle's not nearly as cool as you, you know?”

“Neko... what?” The dragon eyed him again, looking more and more like he had no clue what Kiel was talking about, but also like he was totally pleased by the compliment. Before Kiel could answer, though, he snorted again. “Never mind. I know of no Nekokerheffle.” He turned his attention to Shane, who was now yawing around the dragon like she was looking for someplace to pee, and rrrrrrrumph'd at her again. Her reply was a quick snarl, but she backed off a bit like she knew better than to test him.

“Oh, like, that's okay, 'cause Neko's just short for his actual name and I totally can't pronounce it,” Kiel confessed, watching the interaction of his two bonded fretfully. They had to get along, you know? They were both his for life now, and he didn't want to keep them separated just 'cause one kept trying to eat the other. Like, you know, how Slythe and Derry were together, at least Slythe tolerated Derry most of the time, but if Shane couldn't get over her jealousy then he'd never be able to take her out training with him if it meant he needed this dude's help.

“Shane's a shadowkin, man, how awesome is that?” he crowed to his dragon like he didn't already know, figuring that introductions were in order. “ I'm a Chosen, I'm a Chosen! Hahahahahaha! She's so cute, and she likes being petted, man.” The dragon was still unimpressed but Kiel was kinda used to that. Some people were totally amazed by the crazy awesomeness of meeting a Chosen, but some were all, like, "blah whatever". And, like, what did dragons have to be impressed about, he guessed. They started the whole bonding thing anyway, hahahaha.

Shane, on the other hand, was lapping up the praise. She was far from being convinced that the new bonding wasn't going to steal him away from her, but at least she wasn't gonna run amok any time soon, he guessed. She totally wound herself around his legs, though, marking him as hers, and he had a sudden yen to hug her tight.

“You wanna meet my dragon, man?”

“Your dragon?!” The beasty dude totally reared up all over again, but it didn't have the effect it probably should have. Kiel giggled in awe. “My name is Zorronissamineri! You will never refer to me as "your dragon" ever again!”

“Wah, okay, okay! Dude, man, geez, okay! Like, that's a crazy awesome name, man!” And then, as if his life totally wasn't on the line here, “Can I call you Zorro for short?”

[Kiel]

A Pride Goeth Before a Fall

---

((Continued from A Pride Goeth Before a Fall. Edited by the Russikibble that is Zeph.))

...

Silence fell. Trapped under the weight of a desert lionness, Kiel couldn't tell if he was breathing or not. Like, he figured he must be or he'd be blue in the face or something, you know, but it was kinda hard to tell if he was even alive.

He hurt all over. Maybe that was a good sign.

But then the lion moved. Kiel, belly wet with blood he'd assumed was hers, cried out. “Wah! Wah!” He was dead, he was dead, he was -

“You alive?”

Dude! Was Zeph's face, peering over the body of the lion, a sight for sore eyes, man. And, like, Kiel had plenty of that, you know? Soreness, everywhere.

“I dunno, man.” He didn't have the energy to check - and that was totally not a good sign, man, for sers.

The lion moved again, but by now Kiel was pretty sure it was dead. It was just 'cause Zeph was hefting the thing out of the way. And next thing he knew, he was jack-knifed by thick fingers clasped tight around his wrist - to which he yelped “Oi, man, that's attached!” - so the hairball could check out the deep scratches on his back and shoulder.

“You'll live.” Was that the slightest hint of concern there, like Zeph hadn't been so sure for a second? Colour Kiel gleeful, anyhow... as soon as he stopped hurting enough to brag about how his boyfriend loved him.

“Wah, Zera?!” He couldn't bolt up to his feet to go looking for the brave Zanaryan, but he didn't have to. The tip of a wing, and then her face suddenly appeared around Zeph's bulk and beamed at him.

“Did you see me? Did you see how I led them right into his trap? Haha, oh. My, my heart's all a-flutter.” Her eyes were too bright, like she was going to tumble off her adrenaline high any second, and Kiel kinda knew the feeling. But he laughed anyway, 'cause she'd been awesome.

“Dude! Aw, man, I missed it, but man! You were totally awesome! Hahahahaha - ow! Wah, I'm dying, I'm dying.” Zeph's glare wasn't enough to shut him up this time, 'cause he really did feel like he was going to pass out any second, man. He'd lost a lot of blood, you know, and was probably looking a bit green in the face. But, “Man, we gotta help the others... You go help the others, 'cause, like, I'm just gonna take a nap... Hey, hey, leggo!”

Zeph had taken a few seconds to tend to his own wounds with one of his potions, but then he'd lifted Kiel wayyyy too easily to wobble on his feet, a thick arm wrapped around his waist to steady him while the hairball pulled off his shirt. “Like, hey, man, like, can't you wait until we get ho-oooome, that's cold, it's cold!” The liquid was soothing, though, and in a matter of seconds he could breathe easier. One look from Zeph, at both he and Zera, kept them quiet as the rest of that potion, and one other full vial, was handed over for the Zanaryan and her camp-mates.

Kiel was still feeling kinda sorry for himself, and clinging to his boyfriend like he'd never let go. What surprised him most, though, was that that big strapping arm was still wrapped tight around his waist.

They didn't stay to help rebuild the camp. The residents had seen too much death there and news of the nomads getting closer had scared them, so they decided to pack up and move on. Kiel thought maybe Zeph felt like the whole thing had been a waste of time, but at least they'd managed to save some lives, you know?

He'd think twice about running off half-cocked next time, though.

Like, maybe.

[Kiel]

Thread Log

---

[x] Limbo
[+] Artificial end
[Q] Quest
[!] Special event

These threads are in chronological order.

---

June 2009

---

• New Arrivals [x]
  ↪ New Alexandria Bazaar
  ↪ Lani, Ruairi, Juliana, Elias
  
  Kiel arrives from Dardanos hungry and tired, and swiftly loses his wallet.

---

July 2009

---

• And We All Fall Down
  ↪ Le Bon Cafe
  ↪ Sally
  
  Kiel laments his lost money while getting a room and a snack.
  
  
• A Mission for the Faithful I & II
  ↪ Xanth's Quadrangle
  ↪ Piper
  
  Kiel buys a lilac bear for Xanth and a gold bear keyring for Chloe, then stops by the quadrangle to offer the first to the Creator for Xanth Day.

---

August 2009

---

• A Poseur's Entry [!]
  ↪ Espur beachfront
  ↪ Leon, Lani, Lazuli, Sabrina
  
  Kiel fends off an anka attack at the Xanth Day beach party while flirting with several lovely ladies and admiring Leon's hammer.
  
  
• Reunion [!]
  ↪ Espur beachfront
  ↪ Piper, Elise, Max, Lucas
  
  Kiel passes a reunion on his way for food during the Xanth Day beach party.

---

September 2009

---

• Anyone In?
  ↪ Dragon Scales Smithing
  ↪ Zephyr, Spirit
  
  Kiel buys some throwing knives ready for training with Vander, but then gets himself a job.
  
  
• Knock Knock
  ↪ Dragon Scales Smithing
  ↪ Zephyr, Spirit, Derina
  
  Kiel starts his new job and helps rescue an imp dragon.

---

October 2009

---

• Divine Intervention [MT]
  ↪ Alexshire
  ↪ Sabrina
  
  Kiel (literally) bumps into Sabs, who he think ditched him at the Xanth Day beach party, and has a good long natter
  
  
• The Right to Bare Arms
  ↪ Alexshire
  ↪ Zephyr, Slythe, Derina
  
  Kiel meets Slythe for the first time when he arrives for his training session with Zephyr.
  
  
• Mortal Combat [MT]
  ↪ Nirim
  ↪ Zephyr, Derina
  
  Kiel and Zephyr train at a White City dojo and have a brief tussle with some locals.
  
  
• Id Sickdess add id Health
  ↪ #2A Forest Road, Alexshire
  ↪ Zephyr
  
  Zephyr checks in on his missing protege to find him down with a cold. They share take-out and movie before falling asleep together in Kiel's bed.
  
  
• Uh...Choo? [MT]
  ↪ Dragon Scales Smithing
  ↪ Zephyr, Derina, Spirit
  
  Zephyr's caught Kiel's cold. Kiel begins to realise his attraction.
  
  
• Dude, Save Me!
  ↪ #2A Forest Road, Alexshire
  ↪ Lacey
  
  Lacey arrives to check up on her brother. Kiel attempts to dodge her by pretending he has to work, but it backfires. She follows him.
  
  
• Sisterly Love
  ↪ Alexshire
  ↪ Zephyr, Lacey
  
  Lacey gets nosy, inviting Kiel and Zeph for lunch.
  
  
• Omnomnom
  ↪ Alexshire
  ↪ Zephyr, Lacey
  
  Lacey convinces herself that Kiel and Zephyr are in lurv, while Kiel has a mini-tantrum.

---

November 2009

---

• This Isn't Awkward at Alllllll [MT]
  ↪ Nirim
  ↪ Zephyr, Derina
  
  Zephyr takes Kiel to train but they make out instead.
  
  
• First Date
  ↪ Dracortus Steak House
  ↪ Zephyr, Derina
  
  Kiel and Zephyr go on their first impromptu date.
  
  
• Not On the First Date, Man [MT · FTB]
  ↪ #2A Forest Road, Alexshire
  ↪ Zephyr, Derina
  
  Kiel and Zephyr end their first date... well.
  
  
• Down in the Dark
  ↪ Rowan Caverns
  ↪ Aiden, Tunnel Runners
  
  Kiel and Aiden head into the tunnels to hunt down what turns out to be a kumo. Kiel loses track of Aiden but is rescued by the Tunnel Runners.
  
  
• Where Owls Run the Show
  ↪ Dragon Scales Smithing
  ↪ Zephyr, Sabrina
  
  Sabrina's promised visit stirs up trouble between Kiel and Zephyr.
  
  
• The Shower Scene [MT]
  ↪ Dragon Scales Smithing
  ↪ Zephyr
  
  Kiel and Zephyr have to make a decision about their relationship.
  
  
• Leaf-ing Elysia
  ↪ Alexshire – Dardanos
  ↪ Zephyr, Slythe, Derina
  ↪ cont. in The Arrival
  
  Zephyr takes Kiel home for his birthday.
  
  
• Delivery! [+]
  ↪ Zara's Flat – Alexshire
  ↪ Zara
  
  Kiel delivers Zara's COM and helps her decorate her Xanthmas tree.

---

December 2009

---

• It's Beginning to Smell a Lot Like Xanthmas
  ↪ Alexshire
  ↪ Lucas
  
  Kiel gains a temporary apprentice and makes friends (or enemies?) with Lucas.
  
  
• Xanth's Grotto
  ↪ New Alexandria Quadrangle
  ↪ Euphenia, Dante
  
  Kiel makes giddy friends with Phenny.

[Kiel]

Thread Log 2010

---

These threads are in chronological order. However, only finished (artificially or otherwise) threads are listed here.

---

January 2010

---

• An Underground Rainbow
  ↪ The Crystal Caverns
  ↪ Euphenia
  
  Kiel runs into Phen and her new pet snake, and is invited to her village for a camping trip (leading to him getting his shadowkin).
  
  
• Stick 'Em Up
  ↪ Alexandria
  ↪ Euphenia, Shane, Aingeal
  
  Kiel meets Phen for their trip to Silas and meets his Chosen, Shane.
  
  
• A little bink in a local drar
  ↪ Alexandria
  ↪ Lucas, Lazuli
  
  Kiel gets a little tipsy.

---

February 2010

---

• Ring Around the Fae Tree
  ↪ near the Fae Tree
  ↪ Euphenia, Lazuli
  
  Kiel attends Phenny's birthday party with Lazuli and Shane.

---

March 2010

---

• Stop! Thief!
  ↪ Alexshire
  ↪ Aiden
  
  Kiel helps rescue a purse and is given a chance to join the Guard.

---

April 2010

---

• The Art of Linguistics
  ↪ Alexshire
  ↪ Euphenia
  
  Kiel and Phen head out for a picnic to learn Latin and almost kiss instead.
  
  Uh-oh, we're in trouble (cont. from Art of Linguistics)
  ↪ Dragon Scales Smithing
  ↪ Zephyr, Derina
  
  Kiel confesses to Zephyr that he and Phen almost kissed, and leaves in shame.
  
  Ring of Fire (cont. from Uh-Oh)
  ↪ Taskel Farm in Dardanos
  ↪ Zephyr, Shane, Taskel Family
  
  Zephyr chases after Kiel to bring him home.
  
  
• The early bird catches a big fat worm
  ↪ Alexshire
  ↪ Nicolay, Shane, Jack, Sal, Mary
  
  Kiel and Shane rescue a fisherman from a kelpie wolf, and broach the language barrier with Nic.
  
  It's Oh So Quiet (cont. from Early Bird)
  ↪ Alexshire
  ↪ Nicolay, Shane
  
  Nic makes friends with Shane while Kiel cleans up.

[Kiel]

Kiel lay on his back in knee-high grass, like, his eyes wide as he stared up at the starry night sky. His arms and legs were totally splayed wide where he had left them after thrashing an Anyeli shape into the flora, and Shane was, like, half-straddling his belly. Her warm fur kept the chill of the night at bay, their breathing synchronised. “Dude, like, dude.” There were no words. It was, like, so crazy awesome to flop into the grass after a run and just, like, ogle the cosmos, you know? It made him feel dwarfed, made him think. Like, Xanth made all that, you know? A night sky was like a kid's painting when they splattered crap all over the place and somehow it still made you step back and be all, like, "Awwww, that's genius!" Except on a grander scale, so instead of being, like, "Awwww" you were all, like, awe.

“Kiel, dinner's ready!” His mom's voice cut clear across the field. Like, sounds carried so far out here, it wasn't even funny. As a kid, he'd race for miles around the farm and still always know when it was dinner time.

Jack-knifing in the grass, Kiel let out a whoop! Shane snarled softly in reprimand as she pulled back, but she'd kinda expected his sudden movement as soon as she heard the farmstead door open and she totally raced him back to the house as he giggled. They burst into the kitchen and he danced up to his mom, snaked his arms around her and squeezed. “Wahahahahahaha.” Like, he could come home whenever he wanted now thanks to Pria, and, like, this was so totally awesome, you know?

“Never mind that, Kiel. Go wash up.”

Kiel was bounding to the door even as he complained, “Like, awwwwww.”

[Kiel]

“Zeph.” Silence. “Zeeeeeeph.” More silence. Kiel poked Zeph in the highly defined pectoral region that he had so thoroughly explored with his tongue in the early hours of last night. “Zephy-pooooo.” That was rewarded by a grunt, but Zeph still didn’t wake up. Kiel resorted to ticklery, scratching blunt nails along his boyfriend’s flank.

Zeph still didn’t move, but he did suck in a sharp breath and growl. “What.”

Kiel pouted and waggled the fingers of one hand in Zeph’s face. “Pay attention to meeeeeee.” He used the metallic object curled tight in his other hand to prod incessantly at the dip in Zeph’s waist, where the low-riding pyjama pants he’d taken to wearing (after one too many unexpected visits from any number of Taskels and the landlady) were slipping even lower.

“Ugh. Do I have to?” Zeph seemed completely unaffected by the poking and prodding and finger-waggling, so Kiel kept it up. He stuck out his bottom lip and flomped onto his pillow to glare half-heartedly at his boyfriend, still poking and prodding.

“Fiiiine. Like, whatever. See if I care. Your loss. Like, hmph.” He uncurled his fingers to flash the metallic object in Zeph’s face, a deliberate preview of why he wanted his boyfriend’s attention at armageddon o’clock when both of them were normally still asleep (which was saying something given their regular habit of waking before the rest of the world even realised it had nodded off).

Zeph scrubbed one of his big, calloused hands over his big, calloused face and through the mess of his girly hair. Kiel pouted to hold back a snicker. “Is that my key?”

Kiel huffed. “Technically, it’s my key. The key to the house I pay rent on.”

“Rent I give you.”

“By way of a salary that I earn. Twice over, thank you very much.”

There went the hand-face scrubbing thing again. Zeph ignored half the conversation to go back to the relevant bit, something he’d gotten kind of handy about after all the years they’d been together (like, four and change, but who was counting? Oh, right: Kiel. Kiel was counting). “Why are you holding my key?”

“Because I, like, took it off your key ring? You know, while you were sleeping?”

Zeph levelled such a flat stare at Kiel that he tingled all over. It was kind of a Pavlovian response by now: Zeph got mad, Kiel got horny. He considered it a self-defense tactic because even his hypermetabolic system couldn’t withstand the daily stress of feeling constantly threatened by the guy he loved more than food. Daily lust, on the other hand? Awwww, yeah, sign him up.

“Because I want. Um.” Kiel stumbled over the rest of it suddenly. He’d been building up to this for weeks—months, actually, ever since Zeph followed him to censored Acantha (a place that, as it turned out, Zeph had every reason to avoid for the rest of eternity) just to make sure Kiel got out alive. He was abso-positively convinced this was the right thing to do... for himself, at least; he wasn’t so sure about Zeph.

And that was kind of why he kept chickening out. Because sometimes Zeph looked at him or did something for him that made it obvious the dude loved him back, and then he’d give Kiel one of those looks or let his impatience get in the way and it was like all Kiel’s insecurities came flooding back. Some days, Kiel was convinced he was the only one in this relationship: that Zeph was here solely for the convenience of a place to stay and a warm body to curl up to at night. And then Zeph chased him halfway across the world—or the known universe!—and Kiel was reminded that not everyone spread words like confetti the way he did. Actions spoke louder than words, especially when Zeph was the one acting. It was just difficult to remember that when Kiel was feeling needy and desperate.

“Kiel.” The way Zeph was looking at him now was exactly what Kiel was talking about. It was three parts exasperation and two parts fondness, all wrapped up in a bow of a frown. The big lug was still flat on his back, hair a scraggly mess across the pillows, one arm still tucked behind Kiel’s head even as the muscles in his chest and the cords in his neck flexed so he could study Kiel’s mostly-hidden face.

Kiel shot upright and turned his back on the girly-haired freak hogging his pillows. He fiddled with the key in his hand, pressing the metal to his uplifted knee just to roll it around against his thigh. “I have. I mean. There’s something.”

“You want me to leave.”

“Wha—no!” Kiel whipped around so fast he fell off the bed. He didn’t let the sudden ache in his shoulder stop him from poking his head up over the edge of the mattress to stare at Zeph, wide-eyed with horror. “No, dude, censored. No, I—” He blanched. “Do you want to leave?” He blinked furiously to hold back the sheen of tears. “I mean, like, I just kind of started taking it for granted that you’d stay over because. You know, your place. In the quake, you know, and then.”

Kiel shook his head. The reason he’d given Zeph the key in the first place was convenience. They hadn’t gone on as many adventures since Acantha, too wrapped up with the rebuilding efforts and a teeny tiny bit burned out, but Kiel was still a trainee with the League so he was sometimes pulled out of town on missions. Even when he wasn’t, it was just easier for Zeph to have access to his house with or without Kiel’s presence.

Honestly, the nights he’d come home to find Zeph already curled up in bed like he belonged there had been at least fifty percent of what had convinced him to do this in the first place.

“Kiel.” Zeph’s eyebrows wiggled. He’d sat up when Kiel fell, hands flat against the bed to keep him upright, legs tucked inside a blanket burrito. “If you don’t want me to leave...”

“I don’t.” It was a whisper, like if he said it quiet enough, it wouldn’t be true if Zeph decided he wanted out.

Kiel wasn’t completely opposed to begging, but not in this case. He wouldn’t say their relationship was entirely one-sided because even he wouldn’t stick around if that was the case (and no way under Hel would any of his family let him stay with Zeph if they thought he was being used). But Kiel did do most of the relationship work on a daily basis. He’d known going in that Zeph was emotionally stunted—you didn’t hit 1200-some without a few traumas to get in the way of personal growth—but Kiel was gregarious and emotionally generous enough that he could carry them both a long censored way (and Zeph reciprocated by carrying them physically instead).

Except there were barriers. Sooner or later, Kiel hit a point where he needed something from Zeph to warrant the effort. He needed to know he wasn’t just carrying dead weight, that he wasn’t projecting; that Zeph wanted this as much as he did. And this was one of those times.

“Neither do I. So.”

Kiel sighed and sagged, splaying his fingers over the edge of the mattress to keep himself on his knees. He tucked his chin in and pressed his forehead to the duvet. “So I want you to move in for real.”

“What?” Kiel winced. “Get up here.”

Kiel barely had chance to jerk his head up before a big hand was scrunching into the back of his pyjama top and half-dragging him onto the mattress. He spluttered, almost lost the key in the mad scramble of limbs, and then spluttered again when he found himself face-first in Zeph’s crotch.

“Um, like, now’s not really—” Zeph’s scowl was even hotter than the flat stare of d00m. “Well, you know, I guess maybe I could—”

“Kiel.” Zeph’s hand was still curled into his pyjamas. It was pulling him unerringly up the bed, and Kiel knew better than to struggle. (His clothing expenses were already astronomical thanks to Shane and Derry’s claws—and sometimes thanks to Zeph’s zealous efforts to get him disrobed, and also those times Kiel lost track of his feet and wound up on his butt in the mud... He didn’t need to add ‘irate Rutilus’ to the list. Again.) “What.”

“Oh my Xanth, do you not know what a question mark is? Dude, okay. It’s this thing in punctuation, okay, it’s like a dot with a weird squiggle on top. Kind of a half-circle with a line at the bottom, like—” He started to draw a question mark in the air, paused to rethink the logistics because it would be backwards for Zeph unless he mirrored it the right way, then squawked when his wrist was clutched too tight and used to drag him up the length of Zeph’s body. He found himself planted chest to chest, his nose bruising on Zeph’s collarbone. “Owwwww.”

“Idiot. Is there a reason you’ve stolen back the key you gave me and woken me up at this un-Xanthly hour to babble about letters?”

“Symbols. Like, punctionation marks aren’t really... Yeah, okay.” He didn’t even need Zeph’s glower to tell him to shut up. Instead, he tucked his face in the curve of Zeph’s neck and proposed to his throat: “I want you to move in.”

Zeph froze. “Kiel. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, because you are a moron, but I moved in a while ago.”

“No, I know. I mean, yeah, I gave you a key so you’d have, like, someplace to go without having to wait for me, like, what with the smithy being all, like, kablooey and stuff, but, like, I just meant.” He tightened his shoulders, making himself smaller, and still refused to come out of his hiding spot. “I want you to move in for real.”

“Yeah, Kiel. I moved in a while ago.”

“No, I mean, like, for real, you know?” When there was no sign of impending death, he continued, his voice squeaking a tiny tot, “Like, with your name on the thing, and your stuff in the closet, and all your mail comes here and, like, stuff?”

Zeph sighed. Kiel hadn’t thought it was possible to tense any further, but his muscles and bones found new ways to contort, anyway. He thought for a second he might be a Therian in disguise (and wouldn’t he have something to say to his parents if he found out he was adopted) and that he was changing shape the way Nic and Shane could, but he didn’t sprout fur or start to squeak like a mouse, so that was a wasted parental rant.

“Kiel.” Zeph inhaled, exhaled, long and loud. “I moved in a while ago.”

“Like, yeah, but—”

“I moved all my stuff here. I’ve been getting my mail here for months. I sold the place I had in the city.”

Kiel paused. The whole of him just... stopped. He was probably still breathing and blinking, but his brain was on vacation.

Zeph’s arm tightened around his waist, big hand warm and solid in the small of Kiel’s back. At some point, his pyjama top had ridden up so it was skin on skin, but the calloused fingers stroking across the knobs of his spine were comforting rather than filled with lustful intent. “I thought that’s what you meant when you gave me the key.” There was a hint of amusement when Zeph tacked on, “The first time.”

“Oh.” Kiel blinked, eyelashes kissing Zeph’s throat. “Oh.” That made so much more sense, actually, but then why the censored had he been stressing about this for so long if he’d censored done it already? “Ohhhh.”

“Is that not...?”

“Oh, look, you can use question marks.”

“Kiel.”

“No, I—Obviously, dude, it’s so obviously what I wanted that I asked you twice, okay?”

Zeph’s amusement this time was 100% crystal clear. “Okay.”

“Except...”

Zeph’s arm spasmed around Kiel’s waist. “What?”

“Except now I want to ask you something else.” Zeph was silent, face pressing into the top of Kiel’s head, lips warm on his forehead. “Because I worked up all this courage—” He ignored Zeph’s huff. “—and it’s a shame to let it go to waste, and if we’ve already been living together for months then I want...”

Zeph’s voice was soft, big hand pressing Kiel closer. “What? What do you want?”

“Will you...?” Kiel hitched in a breath. Ever so bravely, he lifted his face from its sanctuary against Zeph’s throat and looked him right in the eye. Then had to look away and duck his face.

Zeph cupped his chin with his free hand and pulled him back, eyebrows pulled together for an emergency meeting. “Will I what?”

It was stupid in the end. Kiel was biting his lip so the question was muffled when he finally garbled it out around the lump in his throat. But Zeph’s eyes were warm on his, calloused fingers gentle on his chin, and the big hand pressed into the small of his back was a grounding weight that settled inside him like a promise. It felt right the way nothing else could.

“Will you marry me?”

OOC: I wrote this for Russ's birthday back in January 2014. I can't post his reply because it's not mine, but for the record, Zeph said yes.